sábado, 22 de outubro de 2016

Envy and self destruction

I admit it, I am an envious person, and sometimes I even feel good about other's misery so I can feel a little better with my own misery...but envy is such a self destruction feeling...everytime I feel envy I feel like I am consumed by it, and in fact it makes me feel even worse about me...it's one of the most nasty feelings ever.
I try to fight this a lot of times, but usually it overcomes me...I don't know I think I should try to be better and accomplish more things so that other person's success doesn't make me feel bad, or medidate or help others, like doing volunteer.
This is a long and old battle in my thoughts and feelings, two things that I find very hard to control...but whenever someone lives my dreams I just try to think, that's not my life, not my journey, not my experiences, and what other people did, felt or lived can be different for me, because we are different and I will have my own experiences when my time will come. What is meant to be in my life will be meant to be, if it will never comes, it wasn't meant to and if it comes and leaves I will have to accept this turn of events. I will have my own experiences and live my life, so I try to let go of comparing with other people and believe myself and work to get my goals.
Envy trully is, one of the worst feelings ever, and I really want to let it go away from my life, so I can be in peace with my life.

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