tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51309203626612057632024-03-19T02:46:34.861+00:00Parallel UniverseWords are flowing out like endless rain into a papercup,they slither wildly as they slip away across the universe.Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.comBlogger420125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-70646941464742144262022-03-23T22:27:00.000+00:002022-03-23T22:27:05.702+00:00Never Heal<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp620FhlyuWcOCwI7AdEoSWp196qGOapts3ZAJXBjzcCX5UT9etSqjBv_IzArtQxe32iq-Y7br-8LRIpgCKfdLCrKRRyH0sOpUOZ5XbH_HkCg6YSQRX83D10Pb5zgGR05ElYSb1N7i9IZssW8gA0mMyt0vzA_ALT_u9ExO5muGvTFOiIKCv_zwIBzi/s847/healYou.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="739" data-original-width="847" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp620FhlyuWcOCwI7AdEoSWp196qGOapts3ZAJXBjzcCX5UT9etSqjBv_IzArtQxe32iq-Y7br-8LRIpgCKfdLCrKRRyH0sOpUOZ5XbH_HkCg6YSQRX83D10Pb5zgGR05ElYSb1N7i9IZssW8gA0mMyt0vzA_ALT_u9ExO5muGvTFOiIKCv_zwIBzi/s320/healYou.PNG" width="320" /></a></div><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><p><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></b></p>I bled into my relationships with family and friends and even those I almost got romantically involved with...whenever I got too close with anyone I would cut them off...part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear but it also was totally subconcious.</span></i></b><p></p>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-34012071658593329302022-03-17T22:37:00.003+00:002022-03-17T22:39:22.505+00:00The winter of our discontent<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhgsnCgmM4TLSYq3FfzXVxsda7fPoGpRofaS0J9laN_ZH4b_E5ct0xcOSJH9_LE7tILuVSW45jXJsj0jFMIrFpLHqOOCNnsUYOceDeknmg-m4gar59qkHeVFNXGfnUpzeG6E_bcA4Jia2pRkUn1JtK1OU2cI8tQt5fb7CN6gUNJ5eCpJFdY2lV7XZZs=s646" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="646" data-original-width="646" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhgsnCgmM4TLSYq3FfzXVxsda7fPoGpRofaS0J9laN_ZH4b_E5ct0xcOSJH9_LE7tILuVSW45jXJsj0jFMIrFpLHqOOCNnsUYOceDeknmg-m4gar59qkHeVFNXGfnUpzeG6E_bcA4Jia2pRkUn1JtK1OU2cI8tQt5fb7CN6gUNJ5eCpJFdY2lV7XZZs=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span face=""Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">"The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed - the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty never perish. SOLDIERS! Don't give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you, enslave you, who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men!"</span></p><p><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14px;">Regrettably Chaplin's words are as relevant today as they were in </span><b style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">1940</b><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 14px;">.</span></span></p>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-24888448329132191202020-03-20T23:00:00.000+00:002020-03-20T23:26:56.126+00:00Love hurts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBNyz-1B3A-kE1VXJPQl92WClbNtEZHmBoTiHMwmlkSY5Xf0mX4WhdF7Q93LCHWZDENOZAVTB4ODEUjPizDb1_o-ZoL7QaTMv5gzVPxP-0u41MoNe4apqRpHikLnd9XCol2iaQwkYwajw/s1600/lovehurts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="503" data-original-width="960" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBNyz-1B3A-kE1VXJPQl92WClbNtEZHmBoTiHMwmlkSY5Xf0mX4WhdF7Q93LCHWZDENOZAVTB4ODEUjPizDb1_o-ZoL7QaTMv5gzVPxP-0u41MoNe4apqRpHikLnd9XCol2iaQwkYwajw/s400/lovehurts.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Some years ago I saw some internet post and decided to write it down and keep it, today I found it in my notes, unfortunatelly don't know who the author is:</b></span></span><br />
<h4>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>
<i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129;"><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">"I wish I could look you in the eye and tell you;</span></span></b></i></div>
</i><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">You are my first thought every single day. </span></span></b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">That I fell in love with you the first time I looked into your eyes.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">Everyday hurts because I can't stop thinking about you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">All I want is you. All I can think, see, hear, and feel is you, but you are never here."</span></div>
</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></i></span><br /></b></span>
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<span style="background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Being rejected by someone you love and gave you a sparkle of their atention and care emotionally destroyed me, I couldn't find another person even if I wanted because I have nothing else to give when I wasted all on the wrong one....that for me was the right...I am only left with what ifs, why, tears and a head full of ghosts. Love is not a bless for everyone, for some it is a curse.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>And I guess I rembered another great song that describes that:</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like.</b></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">High off love, drink from my hate,It's like I'm huffing pain and the more I love the more I suffer, but I guess that's alright because I like the way it hurts.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><br /></b></i></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"><i><b style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">(Edited from "Love the way you lie", Eminem)</b></i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivO40KoHcmV6Ejn_7OZRUw_q3UC3f_8loKZCdaIhyphenhyphenMoGDxgFuVpo_ZJD6NMsJ4M7LZXgFHvMtrpb-JrUpOuRwVAFoVosop-7v1LJSXNrOvK8ooz4PyiOlewSQAMjkczE1tSSgGt_ntXT0/s1600/12592313_930794950349177_303689238921608767_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: medium; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivO40KoHcmV6Ejn_7OZRUw_q3UC3f_8loKZCdaIhyphenhyphenMoGDxgFuVpo_ZJD6NMsJ4M7LZXgFHvMtrpb-JrUpOuRwVAFoVosop-7v1LJSXNrOvK8ooz4PyiOlewSQAMjkczE1tSSgGt_ntXT0/s320/12592313_930794950349177_303689238921608767_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21.4667px;"></span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-31883007669370604912020-03-19T00:27:00.000+00:002020-03-19T01:02:43.684+00:00Coronavirus and the rise of fascism?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EGe05pqPCsJby2BtGpQFAyFGpcbPBNsWlp5q8DjIKO3r4xCBCKn51NWku0KIpy8rmnXnVMFgQI_v6fGdl94VfEXeIuD0FhV-wjCqmR7QqFRZvGoN_TzEE0wMRb88pEYoesP0yIhmAaU/s1600/1984-Big-Brother-768x768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EGe05pqPCsJby2BtGpQFAyFGpcbPBNsWlp5q8DjIKO3r4xCBCKn51NWku0KIpy8rmnXnVMFgQI_v6fGdl94VfEXeIuD0FhV-wjCqmR7QqFRZvGoN_TzEE0wMRb88pEYoesP0yIhmAaU/s400/1984-Big-Brother-768x768.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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All the media everyday, all day, just talks about one thing, as if in the world there were not people dying of anything else: Coronavirus!<br />
All events have been canceled, and the Governemnt recomends and/or imposes people to stay locked at home while this supposed pandemic passes.<br />
Media lies all the time about everything, wouldn't be surprised this time they also did, regarding the<br />
danger (or even the veracity) of the disease and even numbers of deaths.<br />
What I see is the mainstream media, as usual, simply supplying the daily masses with fear and Government propaganda, what really makes me wonder the true agenda behind all these.<br />
What if the master plan of the New World Order is to make a scared and helpless public believe in this so called pandemic just to implement their malefic with public approval.<br />
Such as:<br />
1-Martial Law<br />
2-Removal of physical cash<br />
3-Mandatory Vaccinations<br />
4-Removal of freedom of movement<br />
5- Criminalise public assembly/protests<br />
6-Trigger recession, divert blame from bankers who actually caused it, and redistribute the weath amongst themselves.<br />
7- Increased Centralised Control<br />
8-Increased public surveillance<br />
9-Complete acceptance of the above measures by a scared, misinformed population.<br />
<br />
In short, the implementation of fascism like in the dystopian orwellian futuristic society such as the one revealed in the book 1984 by George Orwell?<br />
<br />
Lastly, I strongly, recomend you to watch these videos, where you can see the other perspectives, regarding this subject, before it is censored on the internet, because apparently now we have a Big Brother censorship system that decides what is real or fake and what can be discussed or not.<br />
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<br />Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-79280139210571549832019-09-20T01:35:00.000+01:002019-09-20T02:15:55.758+01:00why do I keep falling love with people who don't love me back?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQNSkezRq28kjqP78cCaMuCOIPJLQ4LNuLabybktbz2EPbqWTZISDo5NBEJurt6eQw68OuzEAJA5wc4fUuWMjefHTnjeaWTMkBzBOYxto0oe_rEdKSzgswQE5e247_lgn-a5cBpsd-3Ic/s1600/dont+love+u+back.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQNSkezRq28kjqP78cCaMuCOIPJLQ4LNuLabybktbz2EPbqWTZISDo5NBEJurt6eQw68OuzEAJA5wc4fUuWMjefHTnjeaWTMkBzBOYxto0oe_rEdKSzgswQE5e247_lgn-a5cBpsd-3Ic/s400/dont+love+u+back.jpg" width="285" /></a></div>
I am still here, just been busy living my life and making friends and trying to keep them...so it made me feel less of a need to let off the steam in my blogue.<br />
I am not always sad, but sadness and loneliness are main main drivers for my writing, it is when I get inspiration, but mostly the NEED to talk to someone who will listen and don't judge me or interrupt me...and so I write for my audience, that is whoever comes to my blogue to read my thoughts.<br />
<br />
I am losing sleep and crying over the fact why I keep falling for people who don't love me back and chasing them while being ignored...it is hard to move on past a person I really really think I loved, and then, when I finally think I found someone to distract me from him, splitting my obsession focus, almost believing I moved on, that person treats me the same and leaves me in the same state of mental confusion, humiliation, shame and agonizing emotions of once again not being enough, this leads me to have even less self esteem and being even more closed and suspicious of other people trying to reach me. As I think that karma works, I somehow might had gave bad karma to all the people I loved and didn't love me back (but some even faked for a bit they cared, just so it could be even more cruel), so the Universe keeps me sending more and more people who seem interested in me for who I am, some claimed they liked me or tried to tell me or know me better, but I pushed them away, I didn't believe them, didn't gave them any chances (at least I never confused anyone or gave false hopes) and most of them, not even let them get closed to me, which in return keeps giving me bad karma. It's like in a twisted way you just need the assurance to know somebody sees any worth in you, feeding your ego in a way, but also having the pleasure of rejecting them, which in my case tastes like sort of revenge. Like, so I can't have who I want? Why should I give those persons what they want and force myself into liking them?If I couldn't have who I wanted, you can't even dream of having me!<br />
I don't care of how many persons or how good they are to me...in my mind I will always feel hurt by the rejection of the small amount of persons I claimed to have loved at an obsession level non reciprocated. And when I finally move from obsession to other I always end up in the same dead end situation, it is like I am really looking for the same rejection scenario, and it is no coincidence that the person who almost made me forget the obsession I had for 5 years has the same sun sign (cancer if you really want to know....for a reason this sign is named after a disease). At first they seem to care, talk and make time to me, make me believe there are some kind of special bond just to slowly ghosting me and make me do all the chase while giving me no appreciation or attention, being totally oblivious, dettached and indifferent to the pain it gives to me.<br />
So I read some things trying to understand the underlying psychology of this phenomenon, and concluded it can be a mixture of a lot things.<br />
<br />
Here are the main reasons I think I developed this pattern, mostly based on the article of Psycology Today: "Why we obsess over people who don't want us?"<br />
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201610/why-we-obsess-over-people-who-dont-want-us<br />
<br />
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk nt mm nu mo nv mq nw ms nx mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="79e9">
Firstly, this feeling has a name, it is called "Unrequited
love" and it happens when someone have strong romantic feelings for someone that
does not return those feelings. It’s a one-sided experience that leaves you suffering with pain, grief and shame and it has plagued lovers
through the ages.</div>
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<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
Love unreturned is rooted in lot of places, including our past experiences and childhood traumas, but it (almost) always stems from a warped sense of self and low
self-esteem. Chances are, if I keep looking for love in people that
don’t love me back, I'm self-sabotaging myself because I think I am unworthy of love, and the fact I keep people away who seem to like me is also part of it, since I think at a subconscious level that I don't deserve love.We choose these people because they represent the parts of us that we don’t love. So basically I don't love myself, though I try to act as if I do.<br />
<br />
More generic reasons (I think as I said, in my case is a mixture of all):</div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
<br /></div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
* The real reason people chase after people they can’t have is because there is a part of them that believes that they’re not <i>worthy</i> of a fulfilling love life. The only way they can prove their worth is by winning the affections of their prize. </div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
It’s a matter of the chase, an exercise in pride, and a vain spell of infatuation — none these things are love. </div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
<br />
*The biological reason romantic rejection gets us hooked is that this sort of rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction and cravings. We're addicted to thoughts of what could have been but never will be.
Once we get stuck on those thoughts, being rejected by the other person
can intensify them, leaving us to deal with obsession, which is a kind
of addiction</div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
* Another aspect of this anguish may have to do with the <i>perceived value</i> of the other person. If the other person doesn't want us or is not
available for a relationship, their perceived value goes up. They become
so "expensive" that we cannot "afford" them.</div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
*As for childhood traumas, in a classic scenario, they grew up in a household with a mother or
father who emotionally rejected them (in my case was more like the repressed emotions, because my parents (I know now!) cared about me, but never had the right words to say and the right attitudes to have, making me feel like they hated me and I ruined their lives by existing, leaving me with the feeling I have no one to count with and managing my emotions all alone and then repressing them, which basically made me run away from love all my life and never getting too close to people or show affection. Since as a family we never really expressed love and talked about feelings, and that I always had the feeling everybody would judge me, and my parents specially (reading my diary to guests one day, did not helped!)).<br />
For these individuals, being
romantically rejected is a familiar feeling. Since we are always more
likely to act in ways that are familiar to us, if we have a history of
rejection, we are likely to seek situations where we should expect more
rejection. Our brains interpret these scenarios as normal, even though
we know that it is <i>not</i> normal to seek out scenarios that lead to pain and anguish.</div>
<div class="mh mi dt ap mj b mk ml mm mn mo mp mq mr ms mt mu" data-selectable-paragraph="" id="cdaa">
<br />
* Finally, there is the "different ending" explanation: If we have a
history of being rejected—by a parent, for example—we sometimes
subconsciously seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will
have a different ending next time.But it doesn't!</div>
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-21446172831786268532019-09-20T00:10:00.001+01:002019-09-20T00:33:24.179+01:00I wonder...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAtF7xn9Q_QWUHqMYevCD1arcvRe3R1xiI5skyJWLBxen-ADoD-qcnMyyQ4ZK5p64I8gsFi3KcHWawqqFRZBO9Q2iYgqpPSdQ2OLgOdlSPvHSgMyWGCrCQV2LiWdMrZ5MZsWukR89Jhc/s1600/dream+about+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAtF7xn9Q_QWUHqMYevCD1arcvRe3R1xiI5skyJWLBxen-ADoD-qcnMyyQ4ZK5p64I8gsFi3KcHWawqqFRZBO9Q2iYgqpPSdQ2OLgOdlSPvHSgMyWGCrCQV2LiWdMrZ5MZsWukR89Jhc/s400/dream+about+me.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><b>I know you don't, but the truth is that in my shrunk spirit I still love
you in silence after all this time. Not who you are now, I don't know that
person, not even the person you were back then, but the person I
thought you were or could have been. And even my subconsciois brings you
to haunt my dreams from time to time. Every now and then I cry
listening to the same songs I used to cry over when I thought of you.
And I keep looking for you in everyone else...and sometimes I f<span class="text_exposed_show">ind
it, they all give me the same old strange but also familiar and
agonizing feeling of unrequited love time and time and time again so I
can keep self-sabotaging myself into believing I am not worth it.
Sometimes they even made me think for a bit that I moved on...but they
were just deceiving ways to find my sad way back to you. But deep down I
love all that pain, grief and drama, it's like an old friend you just can't
get rid off...it's a reminder of when you were around.</span></b></i></span></span></span><br />
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-10585029434858848152018-04-24T00:38:00.001+01:002018-04-24T00:40:03.027+01:00Stars and empty space<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg73n03lxLhcv3QQaQ3HKV9Y7JweD9DhG9Fc6RdRMNrSpLYErVNvOeQP_8q1f6R5sfAp93F8oeW3hkSxK5OgmUAg7-vSHmsWGVCBwWLek02htayKkkExNSs6ddrPfztP7XRh27EGtBMHxk/s1600/stars.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="513" data-original-width="609" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg73n03lxLhcv3QQaQ3HKV9Y7JweD9DhG9Fc6RdRMNrSpLYErVNvOeQP_8q1f6R5sfAp93F8oeW3hkSxK5OgmUAg7-vSHmsWGVCBwWLek02htayKkkExNSs6ddrPfztP7XRh27EGtBMHxk/s400/stars.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">"</span></i></b> <b><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">You are as deep as I am in the Universe, for the constellations in your eyes have no boundaries, your soul, which moves your hands and squints your eyes, was made up of fallen stars and burnt out suns, and your mind, which like no other will, is forever connected to mine through silent words, and screaming galaxies."</span></i></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: xx-small;">(slightly adapted by a poem made by Rubi Sandoval, I read while roaming on the internet)</span> </div>
Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-68574594222266954452018-04-15T01:06:00.001+01:002018-04-15T01:30:55.558+01:00A blast from the past<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><i>"Love is always bestowed as a gift- freely, willingly and without expectation . We don't love to be loved, we love to love" Leo Buscaglia</i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<b></b><i></i><b></b><i></i>Well, who would have said that we actually would start talking again? Not like it used to be of course, but you actually were the one breaking a full one year of silence, breaking the ice, and so I followed you and melted almost all the ice left, because it still is a giant ice wall between us and a great distance as well, not just the geographical distance, besides the 2 years and almost 4 months we do not see each other. But you inspire me to write, and I think I should also start writing when I am happy or at least content, so here it is.<br />
Today I read the giant love letter I sent to you years ago and made a copy of because not trying to sound narcisistic, it was one of the most intimate, beautiful, sincere things I've written, and it came straight from my heart, so beautiful that it made me cry, so extra sentimental and mushy...and little have changed ever since, but I find it so cute and romantic I actually wrote someone a love letter, in this modern times it is something outdated, and for me it only makes it more special, I wrote you the letter I wish someone have written to me, and needless to say, even though you probably never read my blogue most of my posts are about you.<br />
One part of the letter said this:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"People naturally drift apart, you can still value the times you did have with your friend, even though they don't continue in your life, but they still be with you, trapped somewhere in your memories, but that's what life is, an endless sucession of people saying goodbye, with some you cry, with some you laugh, with some you learn, with some you love with others hate. But I do feel lucky for having the chance to meet you and I mean this for real. So thank you so much for showing up"</i></blockquote>
<i><br /></i>
I miss you like hell, no denying that, did not tell you, as I won't tell you directly I am still in love with you, like no time has passed, and although we were disconnected and afraid will carry on after a small chat, I never disconnected telepathically and emotionally from you, in fact, I end up dreaming with you and about you several times, usually in my dream, you always leave, but I guess that's our fate. Also they say, in dreams we are showned wishes and fears by our subconscious, and my biggest wish is having you back and my biggest fear to lose you, but I don't have you, and never really had so what exactly am I afraid of?<br />
Maybe the fear of being forgotten, and, surprisingly or not, you didn't.<br />
I made you a favour and still hold up to my word, will hold on it forever, like I always do, I never break promises and always keep my word even when people fail me (that's what scorpios do), you say you will be back someday for visit, I wish so, but would wish even more if you stayed or take me with you, but not asking you that, or telling you that, just thinking out loud and wishing, dreaming is free.<br />
But there's something about you that turns my world around, it always did, for me disconnecting from so many people from the past was relatively easy and I overcame it all the time without even blinking or looking back, it left some scars, won't lie, but I understood the fact those people were not meant to keep in my life and just place them in a little department of my brain called "past", but not you! I'm still waiting for the day I could snap out of this and 3 years and something after I'm still trapped in this love spell (or should I say curse?). Never told you because it might sound crazy, desperate, clingy, insane, but I still feel the same as I felt for you since day one, nothing changed, I just feel even though you ignore me for so long I felt such a deep and powerful connection I could not feel with anyone else ever, and that's what makes you so damn special. Also, you never forget the first person you ever loved (and until now the only one), but if you want to know more secrets, I can tell you, you were never a stranger to me, like I feel I have always known you, I really do, so much so that the first time I saw you something clicked and I literally thought "so there you are", basically you were the person I've always dreamed of throughout my life, everything about you was how imagined, your looks, your voice, your smile, your laughter, your mind, your weirdomness, your mysterious attitude and your hidden sensitiveness like mine, and the Universe moved you to me, I'm sure, but it also moved you away maybe because I myself, even deny to myself an happy ending, like I don't deserve such a thing, or a love to be really felt can't be really lived. But you never really drifted apart, because you were always in my mind, even before we met.<br />
Some metaphysical theories could even say this <i>"deja vu" </i>is a sign we have met in other life, and who knows maybe, and meeting you again is part of our <i>karma</i>, or my <i>karma</i>, maybe I neglected you back then and have to feel your negligence now, whatever it is one thing I am sure of, you taught me what is like to love someone else simply because you exist, but you taught me so well I could never do it to anyone else (at a romantic level, there are diferente kinds of love), and if I could pick someone to love, I would pick you up time and time again, in this life and others to come, you should be mine, 'cause I'm yours.<br />
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My best way to deal with this was stopping hating myself for not stop loving you, I understood it is a lost battle, because I loved you way before I've met you in flesh, I've always loved you even way back before I've met you, I've dreamed about you for 25 years before I met you,so I cannot unlove you in the future, but I can live with this in an healthy way now that I realized love is something you give, not something you get.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAnrvAbLQsY2ikRVgLk1WizTo70Vh0wwiXoJ9l7gKQBBKBIlga82s8U2BzKa6WxytTOQ6Zur1s4MaiWvQe8xiBMiX9Tp4_Z_Ii-5x86MYwYg9-Ugpwt4t_MrpL_e9N5jW92Ayt5MhGNY/s1600/eternal+sunshine+of+the+spotless+mind.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="489" data-original-width="400" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirAnrvAbLQsY2ikRVgLk1WizTo70Vh0wwiXoJ9l7gKQBBKBIlga82s8U2BzKa6WxytTOQ6Zur1s4MaiWvQe8xiBMiX9Tp4_Z_Ii-5x86MYwYg9-Ugpwt4t_MrpL_e9N5jW92Ayt5MhGNY/s400/eternal+sunshine+of+the+spotless+mind.jpg" width="326" /></a></div>
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Hope I'll see you in the future when we're older, and we are full of stories to be told, trust the Universe and whatever is meant to be, it will be.<br />
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<br />Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-46957841066496599592018-03-30T18:26:00.003+01:002018-04-15T01:42:33.205+01:00TO WHOM?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So I saw a report of a journslist,<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Ben Swan, about the child trafficking in US (he also investigated Pizzagate and was fired and shut up for a year after doing so), I want to thank </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">thank him and his crew for bringing atention to this issue, it is indeed an horrific theme, most people don't want to hear about and deny it is true because it is hard living in a world acknowledging this happens and the criminals who abuse and kill children walk free. The question he raised is so importante, yes, to WHOM are these children being sold? He mentionned some of them are from the elite (doctors, lawyers, politicians, govenment officials), but it goes deeper than this, these elite people belong to power secret cults where they perform these sick acts, and even kill the children as part of rituals and then cremate them just so there is no proof or victim alive to expose them. Also because they are the lawyers, the politicians, the priests and bankers and rich and influent people they rule the system and so investigations like this never go further to trials because they protect each other's back because they rule the courts, the laws and the money (and even self entitled to own the morals and the power to forgive sins, in the case of priests and religious representatives). I don't want to get in the point of satanic cults so I am not dismissived as a conspiracy nuts but I do believe this elite people are part of it. Do you want to know whom the children are being sold to? I have one idea, probably almost all celebrities and royals, and top bankers, lawyers ,doctors and priests. Remember that pedo guy Jimmy Saville, that was friends with the british royals, got honour medals and even met the pope? Everybody knew he was abusing children, and he said he got recognition from the royals because he did good services...now what services could that be? I would get a hint on he trafficked children to the royals and priests YES. (see: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJDxBVJ9lkE">Saville and the royals</a> <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3122130/How-Savile-seduced-royals-s-claimed-nearly-godfather-Harry-predatory-DJ-wormed-way-heart-Palace-life.html">source daily mail</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elMQ9_quuY8&t=12s">The royals pedophillia and murder</a>)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">A</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">lso Killary Clinton whose Foundation received Money from people to help Haiti and did not give Haiti a penny, Laura Silsby was arrested trying to traffic kids from Haiti....but to who were those kids being trafficked to??? Of course Killary and her friends knew nothing!? (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKmX93bX4QY">Clinton Crimes what happened in Haiti</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gIZwM3bl4Y">Sisby-Clinton trafficking cover up</a>)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">And don't forget the case of missing kids in Canada after the queen of England and her husband went to visit an orphanage...as that evil woman is the Head of State and she is above the law because she is the law she can never be investigated, or judged or arrested and this kids were never found and nobody knew what really happenned to them except they were last seen with this royal scum <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBVTUVlIE5s">Crimes of Queen Elizabeth and Phillip</a>) </span><br />
A<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">lso the vídeo of a naked boy escaping from Buckingham Palace should raise awarenness </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"> they say this is fake but looks like pretty real to me! So it's that man, keep up with the good work you did and I believe it is no coincidence they made your page go black after you adress Pizzagate...that was just the tip of the iceberg!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtnAqEpDqMY">Buckingham abuses</a> <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2972782/One-not-amused-Internet-hoaxer-posts-video-naked-man-escaping-Buckingham-Palace-bedroom-window-Changing-Guard.html">Boy escaping Buckingham Palace</a>).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times";">The examples never stop, learn more about this topic here: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0-QGu8lOO4">The Darkest Secrets Revealed - Ole Dammegard & Carine Hutsebaut</a>).</span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-19446357981580455402017-12-30T16:06:00.003+00:002017-12-30T17:40:55.393+00:00God and Satan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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While researching on the internet, I ended up researching Illuminati and Satanism, I think I can now believe this cults do exist.</div>
So, I am upset with satanic
cults that mistreat animals and children, they exist indeed and yes I
believe they believe in Satan, but all satanists believe in the opposite
also, same way christians believe in God and have to believe in the
opposite, Satan. As an atheist/agnostic I am very skeptical to all that,
I just don't believe or at least have doubts about the supernatural
existence. Being an atheist has nothing to do with satanists, we don't
believe in God or Satan like satanists and christians, so we do not
reject one and follow other. Anyways
we should not take the other cheek and should fight back the pedophiles
and child murderers, we should not wait and do nothing while it
happens...I AGREE, 100%....but then again, isn't that what God does? He
sees all and knows all, He sees and hears all, and what does He do?
Nothing, Nada, Niente, Zero....so in the judgment day He will condemn
those who did nothing, like Him?<br />
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As for me, God and Satan are metaphors
for good and evil, opposite strong forces that complete each other and
give meaning to one and other, it is impossible to know good if you
don't know evil, you don't know the light without the darkness and so
on. I always had doubts and I think I am entitled to have them, if a
merciful God wants to throw my soul to Hell because I doubt what I was
told on Earth, so be it, I just still don't get why God reencarnated in a
child named Jesus whose mother He impregnated in a holly way just like
the story of Horus and Mithras (you should dig on that too, what makes
you so sure Christianity is not a made up recycled story?), so then, God
by the name of Jesus knew already He was going to be betrayed of course
and when He was killed He allowed that to happen to Him while
experiencing the pain of the mortals that was given to us by his
creation (God made angels, demons, pain, joy and all the feelings too
no?), so God sacrificed Himself (Human sacrifice/ suicide here....how
can this be any salvation?) but then He resurrected Himself (so He didn
't die He was just kidding) before going back to Heaven to His father
that is Him?<br />
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What about the Holy Spirit...Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit
make up the trinity, 3 different entities that are the same, why and
how this has no pagan roots? if you worship Jesus what about His
creator, Yeshua, the only God, shouldn't it be just one God? And
moreover, have you ever considered Jesus could be made up a false idol
as well? I mean, He was a mortal with supernatural gifts that resemble
wizards and witches too! I just think that is way too weird, and about
the Bible, it is not peace and love all the time, I read it ALL even
after leaving the catholic church, it is said Jesus will not bring peace
but the war, Matthew <a class="yt-simple-endpoint style-scope yt-formatted-string" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27iTU_I8e-s&t=634s">10:34</a>
<i>"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not
come to bring peace, but a sword."</i> And about child sacrifices, the God
of the bible demands that too, Genesis 22, "Then God said, <i>“Take your
son to the land of Moriah and kill your son there as a sacrifice for me.
This must be Isaac, your only son, the one you love. Use him as a burnt
offering on one of the mountains there. I will tell you which
mountain"</i>, but God was just kidding too because an angel appeared and
told Abraham to stop it, oh what a joker God is! And by the way, who actually
wrote the Bible?Why didn't Jesus wrote it if He could? So, God is all
spirit too but He created a material world, and put our spirits into
flesh, some say our spirit and soul always existed, others say it
doesn't exist others say it is created when are born or even when we
start being conceived after our parents have sex, about laboratory
babies I don't know, they were made in labs do they have souls too? So
God is perfect, and all that exists and all that will exist, so He was
bored and decided to make a simulation program, like we do when play
sims and now He basically watches us and records everything to judge us
on judgement day....Satan was an angel that disobeyed God, but Satan
lives in Hell and tortures the bad guys punishing them....so if Satan's
job is to punish the bad guys how can that not make him a good guy? What
does God do anyways? I am sorry I do not want to offend you or upset
you, and everyone who is a christian that believes in God/Jesus and
Satan, I just have this questions and am trying to explain why I just
can't follow this. But if I ever catch someone mistreating a child or
animal, I will and would fight back with no remorse or mercy, because I
believe we all have good and evil inside us, but the part we decide to
act on is what defines us.<br />
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-29907336832014352702017-11-02T00:52:00.001+00:002017-11-02T00:52:57.478+00:00Exorcize my demons<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I came to the conclusion that most of my problems are caused by other persons no kidding, but the real problem is my reaction to them, the best way to deal with this persons is avoiding them, ignoring them and forgetting them if possible. I do that to everyone from family to suppose friends, acquaitances whoever, people call this revenge just because you don't want to put up with their shit anymore that threats my peace of mind, I call this respecting myself enough to not let</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> poisonous people break me again and again and again, people overestimate themselves in my life, it is wrong because I don't really need them or like them for their psyco reactions of twisted love, I endured all my biggest failures, disappointments and saddest parts of my life alone picking myself up time after time until this demons in shape of people run out chances and I pressed DELETE!!So, Good riddance!</span></span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-6172058119625906902017-10-19T23:42:00.001+01:002017-10-19T23:50:58.517+01:00Goodbye, so long, and farewell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It is sad when you get played by your feelings and emotions and wishes and silly dreams and when someone you wish you could spend a lifetime with walks away forever with no goodbyes, it is also sad someone that means so much to you treats you like nothing,but I guess losing people along the way makes part of life, nothing lasts forever and we all will disappear one day without a trace, it is also frustrating we cannot control our feelings and even thoughts, sometimes I regret I met you, and can't really understand why you were meant to cross my path....secretly I wish you never did, I wish memories could be erased and also ghost feelings that still linger for way too long would vanish, at the same time I wish I could be the one you chosed, but I am not, but hope you're happy even though I will not make part of your happinness.May at least this pain make me stronger and wiser, so I guess all you can learn from this is to never give your best to someone who doesn't care because at your best you will not be good enough to the wrong person, chose who chose you and save your heart for someone who cares. But never forget, the key to your happiness is a gift way too precious to put in someone else's pocket, don't put too many hopes and feelings in people's hands because they will drop it,they will drop it every time. Chase dreams not people. But in the end I know I was the best thing you never had and you were the best thingI never had, the rest is just a sad song with nothing to say, strangers like before we met, strangers after we met, strangers eternally.Hope you will be happy and hope I can unlove you and totally forget you one day, instead of pretending that I did. So goodbye, so long and farewell.</span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-38789387033281605992017-07-11T23:42:00.000+01:002017-07-11T23:50:52.317+01:00the hardest part of being a vegan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I am not 100% vegan, I don't eat meat for 15 years, I avoid products from animal origin but from time to time eat cheese, soy, rice and almond milk mostly but sometimes cow milk (in ice creams, chocolates, wtv), sometimes I do eat eggs (try to buy free range chicken eggs), and occasionaly fish. People try to mock me and discredit me for not being a real vegan, but even if I was they would criticize me anyways (expect the vegan ones). Anyways, the hardest part of being vegetarian or vegan or not eating meat is not missing the meat itself, a flavour I never liked anyways (taste of death really) is to have to deal with people CONSTANTLY asking you why you have that diet, like you own them an explanation, and if you dare to say you don't want to feed on dead animal's corpses because it doesn't feel right and you have compassion for animals, they treat you like a lunatic, mock you, laugh at you in an agressive way and in my case also add "don't you feel sorry about the fishes? and the plants, why don't you just eat stones???". So I decided to never ever explain myself to ANYONE about my diet even because if you don't eat meat they imagine you as a skinny skeleton and say "how come you're fat?" and stupid stuff like that. My DIET is no one's business but I remember when I came out of the closet to my family when I was 12 (to some people this means telling them you're gay in my case was telling them I wanted to be a vegetarian or at least stop eating meat), their reaction I believe was much worse than when a kid tells their parents they are gay because they used physical and verbal violence against me, tried to force feed me meat and ultimately made me starve until I eventually ended up eating meat again, which did not happen. Dealing with people, even family or friends or strangers, telling them you can't eat the food they cooked and their reaction is the worse part, also not finding good restaurants and have to go to family meetings where you have to watch them eating meat and can't help but feeling disgusted, because whether we like it or not, meat is murder. So fuck the people, I prefer animals anyways by far, if I could save a cow from going to slaughter or a random person I know who I would rather save, because people are sick at all levels and can never reach the kindness and the purest spirit of life that are animals, constantly abused and killed for people's entertainment, and nasty awful meals. I am not perfect, and not judging meat eaters, I am just telling that this intolerant people are the worse part of someone who lives by their own moral standars; you suck buddies and aren't worth any bit of the dead animals you shove down your throat, animal's star is wayyyyy above yours. You may say I hate people but when I see an animal suffering I end up feeling compassion and empathy all over again, so the animals always get me back my humanity and that's the only reason I don't hate people, but definitely not like them that much. Isolation and being anti social are bioproducts of living amonsgt idiots, it used to bother me, but not anymore., my life style doesn't have to make sense for anybody else but for me, and I do not need to be accepted by anyone else, except for me.</span><br />
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TV is not merely information or entertainment, it is full of lies, fake news, staged hoaxes, subliminal messages, hypnotic frequencies and propaganda.<br />
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<br />Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-18497843820825144762017-05-31T23:41:00.000+01:002017-05-31T23:47:37.100+01:00The global fake terror on terrorism continues....<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well...you know, when I knew abou the new of the "Manchester attack" I immediately as usual guessed it was a fake staged hoax, but then, based on research and making questions I concluded it was a staged hoax event....I mean...I wanted to believe the news but they show us shit! Seriously how I am supposed to believe in something if they not even give us enough fake evidencess? All I see is videos filming the floor, a guy after a concert saying all is ok on stage, and people running around with the herd mentality.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">They simply could set off a loud explosion at the end of a concert as people are leaving to cause mass panic. People obviously think a bomb has gone off and Herd Mentality takes over with people running and screaming. Of course this is what's shown all over the media, we will never see the actual Bomb Explosion because there was no bomb.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moreover, the firefighters tried to help but they were stopped from doing so...probably for not ending and exposing the circus? maybe because after all they could not rescue anyone because no one was dead or injured? <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-angry-were-stopped-helping-10492990">http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-angry-were-stopped-helping-10492990</a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not an expert in this issues, but I definitely can see something fishy is going on here.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But a truther, named Ole Dammergard who researches this for years might explain you better than me, he concluded that a lot of the supposed terror attacks happenning in Europe and USA were staged with the precious help of crisis actors helping and media liers...and this "company" might be one behind this events <a href="http://www.crisis-solutions.com/">http://www.crisis-solutions.com/</a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">take a listen to his interview.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />There are tons of truthers on the internet that research of false flags and staged hoaxes, if you prefer a shorter video I think this one is very good:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't be afraid to make questions and have doubts!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">TV sells us fiction all the time (soap operas, reality shows, movies...)...it is not surprising that they keep making fiction out of reality in the news...TV can't tell you the reality, news sell you an opinion made to program you, they foccus on bad things to keep you in a state of fear and therefore controlled, the news are picked by whom? why are they always bad? who decides which events are worth and coverage and which are not? how can you be sure the news are not made up? why do you trust the news?</span><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is very sad to see lots of people treat me like a mentally ill retarded just to make questions or to doubt the narrative of the main stream media, but I understand they were indocrinated by the system and they are reacting because they can't stand the fact they have been lied to all their lives....it is easier to fool someone than convincing them they have been fooled!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't be fooled!</span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-78667698558245227582017-05-21T18:54:00.000+01:002017-05-21T19:17:26.674+01:00all this waiting is regret<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Lately I have been an emotional wreck, I cry and I don't even know why I am crying at all: I cry about all the memories I have, all that I lived, all that I dreamed, all that I felt. And with no surprise, your ghost keeps haunting me everytime. I have been experiencing so many feelings at the same time I don't even know what I am actually feeling, but it is overwhelming...I feel sadness and happiness, meaning in things and total lack of meaning and importance in everything, I feel love and hate at the same time, I laugh and cry at the same time, I am calm and anxious at the same time, I feel hope and hopeless all the same, I feel compassion and evilness at the same time, I feel gratefulness and ungratefulness at the same time, but mostly, I feel like I am missing so many people that no longer make part of my life, and at the same time remembering them, makes me feel they still around, like I can time travel, daydreaming, living it all over and over again...I feel like I love and hate everyone at the same time. This is a new feelng that I don't even know what the fuck this feeling is, all I know is this is all too much for me to deal with, and it all is transformed in tears, that never stop, day by day,,,I am surprised how and why this keeps going, and going, and going, and going. Will it ever stop for good?<br />
I am concerned for my own mental and emotional sanity, because when people ask me why I am crying or why do I look sad, I not even know why, so I laugh and laugh and smile and smile without meaning just for to be left alone, just to mask my own self, because people can't deal with you when you hit the low.<br />
Only music seems to understand what I am going through, and all songs remind me of you, and simply thinking of you, makes me cry even more. Seems like this heavy heart won't go away, but probably I am only crying because I pitty myself...I make myself cry literally because I feel sorry for myself.<br />
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Waiting for persons from the past appear back in the future is nearly impossible and will only bring regret and wasted years,,,years pass by, and everyone leaves...and when they leave, it feels like death.But I keep reminding them, mourning them and crying over them.<br />
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i><b>Pick apart<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The pieces of your heart<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And let me peer inside<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Let me in<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Where only your thoughts have been<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Let me occupy your mind<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />As you do mine<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Your heart's a mess<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You won't admit to it<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It makes no sense<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />But I'm desperate to connect<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You can't live like this<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You have lost<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />(Too much love)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />To fear, doubt and distrust<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />(It's not enough)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You just threw away the key<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />To your heart<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You don't get burned<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />('Cause nothing gets through)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />It makes it easier<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />(Easier on you)<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />But that much more difficult for me<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />To make you see…<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Love ain't fair<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />So there you are<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />My love<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Love ain't safe<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />You won't get hurt if you stay chaste<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />So you can wait<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />But I don't wanna waste my love</b></i></span></div>
<br style="background-color: #ccccdd; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Verdana, Arial; font-size: 13.4px; text-align: center;" />Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-48955089603677458792017-05-18T00:03:00.003+01:002017-05-18T00:09:25.970+01:00You sleep...they live<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Holy Moly, I found one of the best videos regarding Illuminati scum I have ever seen, a must watch! Didn't you ever wonder about how is the private (real secret private life) of our elite? So meet your Kings, Queens, Princesses, Princes, your celebrities, your politicians, your bankers....all that scum you were programmed to worship, adore or respect, or even to see as an example and envy and pursue their perfect lifestyle!!! They are not real people but rather a bunch of psycopaths, they are so inhumane some researchers think they are reptilian alliens or demons....either ways, this people have kind of a thing for Satan, express themselves in plain sight their allegiance for satanism, by the symbols they use, the wealthy pedophiles are protected by our justice system (for example, Queen of England's pedophile son was not brought to justice, and many more), ever wonder why is that? why are there so many lost kids nobody ever finds? Speaking particularly of the royal families and the Rockfellers, Rothchilds and Soros...why and how do this bastards get blood transfusions every month and by whom? why and how do they have so many organ transplants and who "donates" them that? why do they all have that psycho scary look in their eyes? why they don't just get a fucking job? And the elite in general...how can our politicians lie to us to get us into wars and not be judged for war crimes? why do our media approves and blind us into their lies? Everybody knows, the elite, during ancient times used to do animal and human sacrifices, they fed themselves from young blood to rejuvenate themselves and even practicized canibalism, they performed ritualistic abuse and murder of young virgins (aka kids)...but all the sudden this royality scum stopped doing that right? Wrong, they keep doing it in secret! I rememeber watching the movie Hostel....one of the sickiest movies ever...or even the Purge, and now I can tell, that was tuth in plain sight, they always showed to us who they are. We are their cattle: we work in their companies, we pay them our taxes, we pay them their infinite absurd debts from craddle to the grave, we feed ourselves with their poisonous food they sells us, we listen and believe in their media propaganda they show us, we fight their wars, we die for them....in return we have bits of their money: their imaginary filthy money they throw at us for us to be able to keep going with our slave lifes (isn't being an adult to pay our own fucking bills?? get a clue!)...still they have all the money in the world, they own all the banks, they own all the land...and if money is the only thing you believe that has value and the only thing you chase in your life, congratulations, you are the perfect slave, 100% controlable.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b4a7d6; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Moreover, the basis of the Illuminati cults is to turn everything upside down: so beautiful is ugly, pleasure is pain, good is bad...and even gender inversion, which they perform to their own kids since they are born to create their image of themselves, instead of having the image they were "created" for, a form of mockery to God we could say, and a way to honour the androgynous "Baphomet" God they worship. They are not like us, are they even human? all I know is you sleep...and they live!</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-53368632857106157812017-05-06T00:16:00.002+01:002017-05-06T01:18:12.361+01:00WTF??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">I found one of the most disturbing things ever on the internet while scrolling on truthers sites exposIng the Satanic Illuminati Elite Mafia...so apparently, there is an exclusive cannibal restaurant called "Cannibal Club" hidden somewhere because they keep their adress a secret (but do expose their staff members), but it is in California of course, one of the most satanic, degrading shitholes on the planet, where real human meat is served "from</span></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"> young, healthy bodies", and they say they get the meat by ethic ways! " We take considerable care to ensure that all our meat is produced legally and ethically, and derived only from young, healthy bodies."Furthermore they add that canibalism can be a way your family and friends mourn you and homage you after you die like a client of them did!"This is a way to supplement life insurance and offset funerary expenses. For others, such as Cannibal Club member Gwendoline Fenwich, who was served to her friends and relatives at the Club in January of 2008, being prepared as a meal, and thereby reborn into the bodies of the living, is an attractive alternative to the more the traditional practices of burial and cremation."....and of course amongst their clients who dine bodies there are members of the elite "Our exclusive clientele includes noted filmmakers, intellectuals, and celebrities "....seriously I am still having a bad time to believe the conspiracies that say they are putting fetuses ingredients from abortions in our food products and beauty products and even sodas...but when you dig on this so called elite and research who they really are and what they are doing....it doesn not surprise me anymore. This, if true is beyond sick!!!! </span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Check by yourself the website: </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><b style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">http://www.cannibalclub.org/</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">KILLUMINATTI</span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">!</span></b></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">Interesting site here: </span></b></span><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><b>http://12160.info/profiles/blogs/cannibalism-21st-century-fine-dining</b></span></div>
Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-75363829809187301152017-04-17T15:24:00.004+01:002017-04-17T15:27:40.527+01:00in love,in fear, in hate, in tears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometimes people (family specially) argue with me, and I always try to seem strong, I argue back, sometimes I scream, I respond equally bad or even worse, I hear things that hurt me, I say things that will hurt that people...and in the end I get so overwhelmed that all my rage and anger suddenly turns into tears and I have to be ridicularized for expressing feelings, making my strong mask fall....and it is really sad I have to keep using this mask with my family, continuously hurtig me, and they are so dumb to understand why I never show good feelings for them? like they show me any or start any converstation that is not meant to end up in an argument...so for not showing I love them, because I feel terrible hurt, they say I have no feelings.<br />
It's sad, but at least I can come to my room, cry my heart out and let my tears dry on their own and remember why loneliness is better than being in the wrong company, even if that company is family.<br />
After a while, when partially my anger is transformed into tears, I feel the pain diluted and I feel<br />
much better.<br />
Sad to acknowledge I only have myself, to find confort in myself, in a world that constantly hates me and tries to make me hate myself. But it's ok, because, I have me, I'll always have me, and if you are in a good company with yourself, yo can never feel alone.<br />
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<i>I sing myself to sleep</i></div>
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<i>A song from the darkest hour</i></div>
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<i>Secrets I can't keep</i></div>
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<i>In sight of the day</i></div>
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<i>Swing from high to deep</i></div>
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<i>Extremes of sweet and sour</i></div>
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<i>My life is out of control</i></div>
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<i>I believe this wave will bear my weight</i></div>
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<i>So let it flow</i></div>
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-60699287646041975112017-04-17T00:14:00.000+01:002017-05-21T18:23:34.436+01:00Still waiting for you to die<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I feel so pathetic...I keep torturing my mind thinking of you, where are you, what are you doing, and still, I deleted all the ways you could contact me, and I did so because you wouldn't, so I just deleted so I don't feel even worse about myself, waiting for that message that never came, and never would come.<br />
I know, we are not meant to be, I know you'll never come back, I know you could care less about me, I know you never think of me, but still affter 2 years and half here I am getting tortured time and time again with thoughts of you...you are the first and last thought of the day, sometimes I even dream about you, and that you came back and made the impossible possible. It's exhausting, sad, tormentful, makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed of myself, sometimes (lots of times), when I start thinking of you, and how I miss you I cry without even knowing if I am feeling sadness or it is just my rage and frustration being transformed into tears...I never said your name again to anyone, I'll never say your name again, to anyone, I will just carry on my life, pretending you never existed, while carrying you in my mind and in my heart like an heavy burden everywhere I go, wishing everyone I meet would be you or maybe wishing to get rid of this dark love spell, or curse, they say time heals everything, but it still hurts, it hurts everytime I think of you...if only it was possible to forget, I would be finally in peace...I don't know, sometimes I think if I had a car accident or some kind of accident that would simply wipe off my memories, I would like that...or like in that movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", if I could just ask someone to erase you from my brain, I would do it.<br />
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But none of that is possible, and here I am, hiding my sadness from everyone, saying I got over you so I wouldn't look an obcessed crazy person with no self esteem, so I don't look weak....pretending I moved on, waiting that day after day the pain gets diluted until it disappears completely, waiting for the day this curse is broken, living as if we've never met, living as if nothing have ever happenned, living like I had no feeling for you.<br />
So I am still waiting for you to die, not in your physical existence, but in my mind and in my heart, and I am so sick that you keep haunting me and the worst part is that I cannot even blame you.<br />
One day, I hope I can mourn you, and never be bothered by your memories again...I never knew how can such happy things happen in your life only to tormet and destroy you later...happy memories can be really painful, so <i><b>I am trying to murder my feelings for you, because I know if we don't kill love, love will kill us.</b></i><br />
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But right now, <i><b>I'm still stuck somewhere between what if, what might, what could have and what never will and all I want to know is what actually is</b></i>. Maybe I still love you because I never thought I could feel something so strong and real in my life, and <b>in a world where everything is fake I can proudly say, my feelings were real, and my pain was real, this pain was the most real thing I could ever feel,</b> altough I know it was just from my part.<br />
I want you to be happy, but knowing I won't be part of that happiness makes me feel incredibly sad, also knowing if I ever end up with someone else and that won't be you, but I know I would secretly wish that person was you, makes me feel incredible sad. I used to want so many things in life, but after you crashing in my life, I would trade everything for you...or at least for the day I will be able to break the spell and stop crying over dead memories and imagining all the ifs, and all the lives we could end up living together. I do miss myself, when I didn't meet you yet,<b> you still being my biggest blessing and my biggest curse.</b><br />
Maybe one day, you'll go away.<br />
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<i>"You locked up your heart</i></div>
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<i>You wake up with tears and stars in your eyes</i></div>
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<i>You gave it all to someone that</i></div>
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<i>Cannot love you back</i></div>
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<i>Your days are packed</i></div>
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<i>With wishes and hopes for the love that you've got</i></div>
<div style="font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<i>You waste it all to someone that</i></div>
<div style="font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<i>Cannot love you back</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>You secretly made</i></div>
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<i>Castles of sand that you hide in the shade</i></div>
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<i>But you cannot hold the tides that break them</i></div>
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<i>And you build them all over again</i></div>
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<i><b>You talk all these words</b></i></div>
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<i><b>You make conversations that cannot be heard</b></i></div>
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<i><b>How long until you notice that</b></i></div>
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<i><b>No one is answering back</b></i></div>
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<i>Love, ain't this enough</i></div>
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<i>You push yourself down</i></div>
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<i>You try to take comfort in words</i></div>
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<i>But words</i></div>
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<i>They cannot love</i></div>
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<i>Don't waste them like that</i></div>
<div style="font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<i>Cus they'll bruise you more"</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">"You're asking again I told you before</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">The beautiful smile hides the troubled soul</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Sad faces influence so easily</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>I already have enough of that inside of me</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">So funny you're still around after all these years</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Ran away so many times, always ended up here</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Could not ask for a thing from you</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>All you gave me I afforded to loose</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>You see...</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">It's all too sad for me...</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>It's too hard for me... to believe</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">It's too painful for me</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>It's so hard for me... to give</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><b>I make lies all day to keep the pain away</b></i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>God knows my sins are already too big to pay</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Even the tears I forget the taste</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Maybe I should try to lick them off your face</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">And though I do try the best that I can</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">You had to be me to understand</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>That</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">It's all too sad for me...</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">It's too hard for me... to believe</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">It's too painful for me</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #b4a7d6;"><i>It's so hard for me... to give</i><i> </i></span></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Smile On</i></span></div>
<div class="row height1" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: right;">
<span style="display: block; height: 1.45em; line-height: 1.45em; margin-right: -30px; padding-right: 30px; text-align: center;"><i style="background-color: #b4a7d6;">Hang On"</i></span></div>
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-15011369294182956442017-04-15T19:27:00.004+01:002017-04-15T20:34:18.185+01:00About Syria...with memes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://theindicter.com/swedish-doctors-for-human-rights-reply-to-german-ardbr-television-verification-team-ref-rt-interview-on-white-helmets-video/">http://theindicter.com/swedish-doctors-for-human-rights-reply-to-german-ardbr-television-verification-team-ref-rt-interview-on-white-helmets-video/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://europediplomatic.com/2017/04/09/swedoctors-syrias-gassed-babies-video-fraud/">https://europediplomatic.com/2017/04/09/swedoctors-syrias-gassed-babies-video-fraud/</a>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-71939396060716135572017-04-13T22:37:00.002+01:002017-04-20T03:12:31.114+01:00one of the best eye opening conferences<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I absolutely love this guy, must watch!Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-88388217807948907392017-03-20T01:05:00.000+00:002017-03-20T01:29:47.106+00:00Je ne regrette rien<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMuLap9dUdzyEFX15GAamDdDzxucJC1hMqwFQsgsK4iC3BlLUkxPSlvv5u2MeKAeCNWvOTo_yk2kKECRHIFhsedPXKO9hMyNpXvwCJ6wYV4RDAdTv1GWQ5D6oQMgOqALYNGM4la21b1M/s1600/alone+in+paris.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: #8e7cc3; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMuLap9dUdzyEFX15GAamDdDzxucJC1hMqwFQsgsK4iC3BlLUkxPSlvv5u2MeKAeCNWvOTo_yk2kKECRHIFhsedPXKO9hMyNpXvwCJ6wYV4RDAdTv1GWQ5D6oQMgOqALYNGM4la21b1M/s320/alone+in+paris.jpg" width="320" /></b></span></a></div>
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Last week I went to Paris, for a 10 day trip alone.</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>It was my 4th trip abroad alone, and I am afraid it won't be the last, for the better and for the worse....I know that. Anywas before all my solo travels, <span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I get a bit anxious and nervous and with less self confidence, I secretly wish I could have a travel friend but it just never happened....some make promises and plans that they break, others give up, sometimes the people who said they would join you are no longer your friends, we need time and money and both things are dificult to get, when you have one you lack of the other...but I decided long ago I can't wait no more fo</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">r anything or anyone because people and situations change out of your control and I need to live my life and live the dreams I worked so hard to get and wished for too long. So regardless of dangers I decided to live out of fear and alone if I must, because waiting is regret and my life and my happiness are very precious things to delay and rely on other people. So whenever I dream out of making plans I don't fool around, I fulfill my primises to myself and others and I believe in me so I can live my dreams, now,today,tomorrow and ALWAYS!!!</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: #8e7cc3; display: inline; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>So all those fears quickly disappeared and then finally vanished...everything about my trip went well, literally everything...I got a lot of apprehension because I have seen on TV and read on the newspapers and even in alternative media that Paris was on the verge of a civil unrest, with riots everywhere, robberies, violence, terrorism everywhere, explosive multiculturalism cauldron, refugees sleeping in tents on the street...and I saw any of that, I felt any of that (actually simply saw about 3 tents on the street totally abandoned...what was that? I don't know but it is not like it was in November, according to TV). I am very skeptical about everything I read, see on TV or internet or hear from people but still that fears really got an hold on me, and Paris is very cheap to travel right now because they lost a lot of tourists, because of the supposed attacks. But once again it was proven to me, never believe everything you are told, go see for yourself.</i></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Also surprisingly to what I expected, c</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">ontrary to what I have been told since ever....parisian people are super nice and polite even with my lame french and even when the security anti terrorism researching in my </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> bag when I got inside anywhere,the bus drivers, it is just merci this merci that....au revoir ici au revoir là, smile here smile there, they ask for pardon everytime they slightly bump into me on the streets or seat in the seat in front of me in the metro...and maybe because I always take off disguise of tourist and pretend to be a local, confident fast walking, cig</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">arrette, just pretending I know where I am going altough I am just walking randomly, I had tons of french people asking me where things are on the street and I actually turned out out to help because I had a map. I haven't met one rude person, not even one, unbelievable! More examples, when I was eating a quiche in the garden, an elderly sir passes by and says "Bonjour, bon appetit mademoiselle", or the lady that saw me getting out of metro in the morning I was on my way to leave Paris, trying to see where the bus station was, and </span><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">she just looked at me and my bag and without me even noticing her or ask her anything she asks me if I want to get to</span><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> the transfer to the airport and I said yes and she says "tout droit, tout droit!". Small things that mattered a lot to me!</span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But my</span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"> first reaction when I was getting in the centre of Paris was not good because when I was on the bus I saw a lot of rubbish on the highways and barracks where gypsies lived, besides of the ugly buildings of the suburbs that are said to have a lot of social problems. </span></i></span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>But besides all of that, the centre Paris is like an open air museum,full of <span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">nice retro buildings and majestic monuments, chic stores, and lively cafes. But the big chic streets can also make you feel oppressed, because it is streets made for the rich, and rich don't walk on the street, they move inside smoked mirror cars, they live in luxurious appartments, they eat inside chic and expensive restaurants away from everyone who doesn't belong to the same social status as them...so lots of streets in Paris miss space for people to live and hang out, I didn't feel like most part of the town were made for people to enjoy being in, but instead seemed like streets were only meant for people to walk by to get to their metro, taxi or bus or workplace.</span></i></b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">I was really disappointed the fountains in the Trocadero garden, in front of the Eiffel tower were switched off, but what made me not enjoy Paris the way I thought I would was the pollution I felt in the air, the tap water that is full of </span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">calcareous and totally ruined my skin making it older and much drier, and the fact that </span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">I almost got sick for drinking from it, I really shouldn't, and my throat got really really dry. As if all this was not enough the colour of the river is grey/brown which totally ruins any landscape of any town because it looked like the sewage.</span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">Another negative points would be the amount of homeless everywhere, even though </span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">Paris has much less homeless and beggars than London, and of course the amount of rats (big big rats) I saw...2 of them appeared under the bench of a garden I was in enjoying my hot wine and another huge rat simply running in the metro when it saw me, got afraid and moved the way back sneaking in a door....I should have felt gross and all but actually those rats were kind of cute, they were more afraid of me than I was of them I noticed and they had that inocent looking face that ressembled me of Ratatouille.</span></i></span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I heard that Montmatre, Pigalle and Place de Clichy were no go zones full of burglars, prostitutes, creepy guys and potential rapists...so I totally avoided it at night, but during day time I must say Montmatre is a beautiful place, very multicultural yes, but in a good healthy way, I wish I went there more often, particularly touched by an old man in a wheel chair with no hands knitting hand made bracelets and keychanes for 2 euros with an adorable smile in his face, I wish I could go back there and buy him more stuff, this person really touched my heart...Pigalle, and Place de Clichy are like the red district of Paris, where the Moulin Rouge cabaret is, where there is prostitution and tons of sex stores, I didn't like that place at all. Besides I decided I should walk and walk and walk until I see a bench or a garden to sit in which I only saw like after 1h30 walking, because once again, Paris, besides the cafes seems not to have space for people to enjoy the space and hang out. I found very little green areas as well, and very few trees on the street, which makes me wonder how hot and dry and smothering it must be during the summer.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>I was a bit disappointed about the Catacombs, because we can only see a small part of it, and it is always the same thing, just pilled bones everywhere (there is a church in Portugal with the chapel lined with heads of skulls much more spooky) , and the Versailles castle, that besides being huge you can only see a small part and it is almost completely empty because the things inside the mansion were stolen by peasants during the french revolution. Apart from that, Notre Dame chapel is magneficient, going up on the Eiffel tower is unmissable, doing a cruise in the Seine river is a great experience and it is cheap actually, and Louvre is way too big. Also I found Paris pretty affordable, for real.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>What I enjoyed the most about my trip was going to Disney, and this way I fullfilled a childhood dream, becase my parents never took me there...anywas, with 27 at least I could ride all the cool things,so it was a lot of fun, specially the other new park, the Walt Disney production studios, it was really a surprise.</i></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">But overall, I must conclude, Paris is like a very expensive and beautifil piece of art in a </span></span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">museum....good to look at for some short moments but soon you just get bored and realize there isn't much you can do with it. Ironically it ressembles to me a lot of beautiful people I have met....good to look at but with nothing interesting to say and no particular appeal to their presence...sooner or later you just get bored and have to leave the date...and I need more than beauty to fall for something or someone...being eye candy is not enough for me, and definitely a city to be great has to be more than just beautiful.</span></i></span></b><br />
<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Just another note, at a more personal level, we all have seen romantic movies about Paris and in Paris, and I saw some couples in love kissing and holding hands, I won't lie, I would like that, specially with the person I love and doesn't love me back, but just for a short moment I thought I got the chance to feel a bit of romance as well, when a good looking young </span></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">french sees me taking pictures at the Notre Dame Cathedral from a bridge and starts talking to me out of the blue asking me to take pictures of him as well, he looked really nice and smart but I got a gut feeling he had something twisted about him, because this behaviour is not even very normal but he asked me for my number and I gave it to him,</span></i></b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">it didn't take too</span></span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"> much time to understand that, that </span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">person was not very interested in romantic walks holding hands or romantic dinners or even get to know me, just another dude driven by lust impulses, trying to mask his luxuriance with a cute smile and friendly good looking face, he asked me if I was "celibataire", which means single, and I said yes, and he says what every single person says to me, like I am a circus freak, "how is that possible?"....well I could answer now, it is not my fault, I keep meeting assholes, assholes like you...Heaven please send me better, or send me nothing, stop messing up with me. Anyways his name is Antoine, or so he said so, and if you cross a bridge near Notre Dame, beware of him, I wouldn't be surprised he does this trick a lot to </span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">lonely female tourists.</span></i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But still, I wonder about my soulmate whereabouts...so, </span></span><span style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">one day,if we ever meet and if you are even real, I will be back there and we'll put our padlock here and the only thing I would regret is all the wasted previous years we lived without one and other.</span></i></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>But until now, je ne regrette rien.</i></span></b></div>
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-78304435185879681552017-03-19T23:34:00.000+00:002017-03-19T23:59:59.914+00:00not everyone you lose is a loss...unless that someone is me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b style="background-color: #8e7cc3;">The only thing I learnt from caring about people is that I shouldn't care...</b></i></span></div>
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Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5130920362661205763.post-29245386820739466362017-02-05T03:43:00.001+00:002017-04-20T03:00:56.707+01:00media lies and the fake war on terror<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">AMAZING...if you still believe in what you see on TV you need to see this!so glad more people with real eyes and brain see this, we are living in a programmed lie brought to us by the media, getting affected by all this staged lies...war on terror is fake, our media is fake, what you perceive as the reality is fake...got it? it's a never ending attack, everything is a lie and that's a fact!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #8e7cc3; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>Celtahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15136855424038036120noreply@blogger.com0