you think I am nothing, because I am nothing like you, you may know my name but you don't know my game, you judge me but you don't know my story, you have no idea what I've been through, and I don't need to explain you anything because I have nothing to prove to you or anyone in this world, the only person who I have to please and own satisfactions is me, myself and I and my conscience. I don't need anyone's approval or love to feel more of a person, I know my value and I don't need to show it to persons who are unworthy of knowing me. I am usually a nice person, if I am not one to you, you probably did me something wrong, ask yourself what before guessing I am just mean. I am a mirror, I reflect to you what you make me feel towards you, I am not the same person to everyone. I believe other's opinions do nothing but trying to format my personality into someone they expect me to be, and attempt t fill me with insecurities, I will change my mind all times I want, I own you any satisfaction for changing, I hear other person's talking to me or about me and I just think they want to fill me with self doubt and self hatred I've been there before and I'm not going back there, I learnt how to be strong and pick myself up everytime, so just don't forget one thing: I know my worth, I don't need you to value me at all or prove you shit. I am what I am, I care less about what you think that I am.
So you will forgive me (or not, I really don't care at all), but I read this new about a father that "married" his terminally ill daughter of two years with cancer so she could at least pretend she married and he could fullfill his dream of taking his daughter down the aisle by faking a wedding, where the girl pretended to be the bride dressed like one.
I am really sorry the girl died from cancer, but also sorry that treatments like chemotherapy are subjected to people, specially kids, because it will destroy their fragile immunitary system and most likely they will die and suffer a lot for nothing. My opinion is that chemotherapy is a hoax and cancer industry is a scam, and probably if a kid avoids this "treatments" she will live more years or even stay healthy.
After reading several news of this kind, like other one where the daughter "marrries" her father dying of cancer so the dad actually can pretend he fullfilled his responsability of taking her to live with other man, I am honestly disgusted with the way this patriarchal society works. They keep pushing woman into the idea of they MUST marry some guy (of course only approved by dads in most case...a guy like their dad maybe?curious...). There are more wonderful things to do with your life, like travelling the world, making friends, go hiking, surfing, reading, learning things and this shouldn't be a goal you have to do. And when you are a kid, like 2 years old, certainly are much better things you will miss in life than your future hypothetical wedding.
So even if you think I am a cold hearted bitch or a feminazi I will write down my point of view of this. I know some (most of the people I guess) would say this act is touching and beautiful...well I guess it is ridiculous for 2 reasons: so first it's her father, and even if it is just a symbolic wedding it ranges the gruesome (it's sort of pedophilic and incest being cute because it is not for real, the dad is just a personification of the man, the man she should and would marry...what is a woman without a man right? after being educated by your bossy father that certainly would make your boyfriend'(s)' life a living hell, by a "sacred oath" (only you are supposed to follow, to man is easier accepted things like cheating and go to whorehouses and have several bitches but always returning home to their wives, wife is the most important woman, the others are just for fun, they say, excusing themselves, and love can forgive this things), by this oath you owe a man authority over yourself, so another guy can rule your life again. Secondly: because according to this father his dream was to take his daughter down the aisle...it doesn't matter if you are just two, society is already sure you must and will get married (to a guy if you are a girl, of course, that's the "normal" right?), it doesn't matter how young you are, specially as a woman you are expected to do so, it's your big day, the happiest day of your life, you can't be happy being a single girl they say, and girls are suppose to believe it while having a life in a marriage in which they basically are the husband's servant: housekeeper and cooker, and of course their private "whore", so they can actually have someone certain to screw up with throughout the years to cum.
And don't forget the porcreation part, men must also leave descendents...otherwise people will start doubting of their virility, so I guess the wife has to stop swallowing some birth control pills for a while that can actually bring ovarian and uterus cancer and cause infertility (so if you get pregnant without your man wanting it's your fault, and if you can't after years of drugging your body with birth control pills to please the guy that now decided that wants offspring...well your fault as well)because man never use birth control of course, and a woman without kids is less of a woman, because a woman with an empty uterus is like a person with no soul. LOL. Think what you want about this, it's trully the idea I get from this PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY. Ridicuolous!
P.S: I know all man are not this bad (inclusively my dad) but this is the idea I got from our patriarchal society and man in general. I still honestly believe most man are scum sorry. Society has to prove me otherwise.
And if a kid is dying and all you think is she will miss the most important day of her life (aka wedding) I think something is wrong with you,let kids be kids, and part of their innocence is not thinking about marriages and weddings and having their own kids, and also stop asking kids what they want to be (when they are grown ups, 'cause you know like they are no one right now) like they are less humans just to be younger, let them live the BEST MOMENTS OF THEIR LIVES that is being a KID, not stressing about future, adults have destroyed dreams and are full of frustrations anyways what's good about being one? let kids be KIDS...adults are ridiculous.
Everytime people asked me what I wanted to be as an adult I always said "I don't want to grow up!",honestly at the begginning I thought my life would be like that forever: me as a kid, just playing and being happy, so when I knew I would have to grow up and be one adult I was very sad and mad...the adults always looked sad and leading stupid lives...I knew better, I knew better all along. And now I am an adult but I promised myself I would never be one of THEM. They could not sell me the idea that adulthood is cool, my best moments were as a kid, and I know it's all gone now, and everybody knows being an adult sucks the hell of your life.
