Never gave love a chance

"Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all the entanglements. Lock it up safe, dark in the casket or coffin of your selfishness but in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, air less-it will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable...irredeemable.
Because to love at all is to be vulnerable -C.S Lewis"

I am young, but since early age I've made up my mind: I don't want t love and I don't want to be loved, something as simple as this.
I know what fall in love feels like, the 1st and last time I felt something like that was when I was 16, and it took me 2 years to get that person out of my mind, I didn't tell him anything, in fact, I was invisible for him, I just wanted that stupid and awkward feeling to go away....it took some time but it was gone for good and I'm very thankful for that! Until now, I still blaming my stupid teenager hormones, and I guess I am right, it's a natural emotion you develop when you're young, it's a biological response appealing for a very primitive instict of all species: reproduction. Our bodies evoluted from primitive monkeys and since we were what you can call primitive humans our lifetime was very limited, average person died in early 20's (actually even during the Middle Age in London, the lifetime average age was 23), so we had a really short life expectation, our life was all about to complete the circle of life like all animals do: be born, reproduce, die, so the earlier we reproduced the better for the specie that could survive and continue their existence...so it's very very normal this kind of things happen, specially when you are a teenager, now I can see it was a normal thing and it's a healthy sign that even the darkest souls can be human, so I was relieved about that. It's what you all call, my sweet sixteen, welll, my bittersweet sixteen in my case.
Of course then there were little crushes, but nothing even close to love! Thankfully!
Well, but I learnt from that and knew I didn't want to feel that again, and I really must admit, so far so good! I've been avoiding all the possible entanglements I could have had and don't really feel the need or the will to get one even because most people simply don't excite me that much with their existence.
I know this is a bit gloomy and dark, dare say, but well it's how I feel.
But when it comes to friends who disappoint me...well then I get really really depressed, but move on and try to forgive and forget or in some extreme cases just forget that person and become stronger.
What I want to say is, it's just that I always felt like it was better to be wild and free, and I like that, to be free you can't  have no space for emotions and deep feelings...they're prisons, also, I think it's stupid you just give to other person the power to give or take the happiness from you, I think we should always try to feel better with ourselves and never try to find acceptance and love from others. Am I selfish? maybe...but well I think it's better off this way.

For instance, I don't want to form a family of my own, never have kids, never marry, never live with someonee....I just think it's more appealing I can have time for me with no one to suck the life out of me, and most important: the freedom! I want to travel de world, several times, alone, not a problem, I need freedom to do so,so I can't have a mortgage, a husband and kids on my back, I need to feel free not trapped in a stupid boring normal life full of messed up feelings and moral and social obligations, not having no one telling me what to do or not to do, who can I talk to or who I can't, no one o own me, no one to own!

It's a decision I made, I just want to live my life lonely and free and out of love, close my heart with a key and throw it away because love is a dangerous game to play, hearts are made for breaking and for pain, and I don't want to play that game, happiness is an inside job, it's not something you can't rely someone else will give to you.
And that's why I' never gave love a chance, please never come again I'll find another way to put you aside!

I'm Tim :D

Birthday Awkwardness

That awkward moment when...you want to start planning yor birthday party but then you realize that you have no eligible guests to invite...

why?

So the pope told catholics they should pray for the souls of victims of the typhoon in Philippines? Will God actually care about that? Just wondering why God doesn't prevent natural catastrophes...is it because He can't? He doesn't want to? He causes them? or He doesn't exist?

why I'll never be happy?

This picture sums it all: no brain no pain.
We hear as a clichet: "Ignorance is bliss", and the truth is that dumber people tend to be happier.
Well I think I am a very rationalist and intelligent person so because ignorance is bliss, that's why smart people are so depressed and gloomy whereas happy people are so goofy and annoyingly cheerful.
But as Ernest Hemingway used to say:

And well I don't care what you think, 'cause as long as it's about me, the best of us can't find happiness in misery!

Arrogance made in Germany

It's with this title «Besuchen Sie doch ihre Steuern!», which in german means "go visit your taxes", that a travel agency in Germany offers travels to the PIIGS (countries endebted...aparently to Germany? or German banks? or IMF? or...who really?, PIIGS=Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Spain).
I tell you what, I've never really talked too much to germans, the ones I did looked nice of course, but I tell you what, the image they show to the outer world is of an arrogant folk, always looking for power and domination of other countries, it is a country that suffers from deep amnesia and superiority complex...or arrogance call it what you like. Why? Why on Earth is it so difficult to Germany to live in peace and  treat equally their european neighbors? why have they to always rule above everyone else? It's because this creditor/debtor "relationship", this fake propaganda of the honoured hard working germans and the lazy inhabitants of the south that live in wonderful sunny places where all germans love to go on holidays just to escape from their sad, sad, cold, cold, boring country! Yes, we are lucky! Greece, Italy, Portugal, Spain are wonderful places, amongst the most beautiful places on Earth. South is soooooooo much better to live in that North, yes!!!! So what they're gonna do? we have to live in misery to make them feel better about their cold and depressesd life? our salaries are very low (in Portugal the minimum wage is 485 euros), we have right to live here in our sunny, beautiful countries full of pristine beaches, this is not a summer colony, got it? we have the right to live HERE in our god damn countries, we were blesses by this weather and beaches and just because of that, just because this places are so awesome....NO it doesn't mean we are ALWAYS on holidays! Maybe for germans a winter day here is their summer...too bad for you, deal with it! But we have the right to live here, our youth has the right to stay and live here and work here instead of emmigrate to Germany and go pay them their retirements...while they come here to live their retirement.
By the way, where does Ireland stays in this point? it's not south, people don't live near sandy beaches, the weather also sucks...are they always on holidays then? maybe it's not the case, because Ireland only bakrrupted due to corruption of banks and bankers...national and international....all right, media don't talk about that? ok, let's keep our mouth shut! Bad bad irish! Big big irish spenders! tsssc tssc!
So this simple, apparently harmless billboard shows hate and disinformation...fake propaganda, and a propaganda of hate and ignorance (for a change, no?).
We don't live from your taxes!Our taxes pay your banks and Germany has won lots of money from this artificial debts (speaking of debts...I have the slighty impression yours were forgiven...and wait...your country was reconstructed due to forgiveness and help of the other european countries...or am I mistaken?).
Conclusion: keep believing you're actually paying us anything, meanwhile german banks and huge international banks win a lot of easy bucks while our countries are being destroyed by ausetrity and misery until the whole european project falls apart (again)! 
Do you think it's nice in Greece and Portugal people getting food from the dustbin bins!? How lucky are we! But we sure deserve it...we (our corrupted governments) were big spenders, now let's eat from the trash!
Children fainting in school because of undernourishment? Not of your god damn problem, we have too PAY! 
In Germany because it's so dark and gloomy the high suicide taxes are normal...in Spain, Portugal, Greece, Italy it's not normal, and since the crisis it severely increased...any cause/consequence of crisis and ausetrity?I bet! (read:suicide-in-front-of-parliament). 
Not even the pets are safe, thousands of them are abandoned each day because people have no way to buy them food (thousands-of-pets-abandoned-in-greece), 
Ok guys, I got your drama, your country sucks so you wanted to buy greek islands to make your private summer destination...so why not suggest greeks to sell Corfu and the Acropolis ? WHY the hell they did not accepted? It looked like such a very helpful suggestion!Do a Pact of Redemption to sell all our gold? 
Don't we even deserve the right to work and mind our own business? If the only Europe German knows is the german Europe with Germany on the command ...well we're better out of that, keep your BMW's, Lidels, Mercedes, Audis and stuff...we go on our way, and we're better apart.
Will this be the 3rd time in less than a century that Europe commits suicide with Germany on the comand post? I hope not, but Germany on their own will let everything to lose...and in the shape of things too come too much poison come undone...
I dare you, come, come to colourful your pity rainy life with our sun and beaches...use your turism to help us, like a charity, come, come to see Europe impoverishing and falling apart, come and see all this misery and new homelessness...come visit your taxes, you did a good job here!

more:
why-germany-hates-greece?
Germany-must-pay-back-to-Greece

I need your help!

Have a minute?
So just press like on my video please, here: http://www.bestjobaroundtheworld.com/submissions/view/14018
Thank you ver much!

The world is small and round but it never ends. Run to anywhere, but keep your nightmares in your pocket and don't walk out of your head, romantic steel, kevlar heart, tourist of the ilusion. Jump out from the rusty carousel of Europe, run to the American Wild West, meet the worst folk in the world, die if you must...if it was easy it would be for the others, do whatever you always wanted and be exactly what you want to be 

is this your hot jesus?

Nine Eleven 12th anniversary

Still having no answers, just questions...truth or hoax?

Music: Welcome to the Aftermath, by Remo Conscious

We saw the towers fall to ashes like they were laced with bombs
And ever since we've been at war like Genghis, conmen fiendish
For a Fascist world state, an Orwellian nightmare
Where rights are stripped bare, get prepared for the future of
Wire taps, cameras on every corner
Blackwater sharp shooters with scopes locked on you
The patriot act has us watching our backs, they front
Like they're here to save us while they're on the attack
And we act, like we didn't see it coming
From a nation built by theft and genocide
Gunning down opposition listen worldwide it's well know
That America will eat its own, so, so long
To what you thought was democratic, these times are catastrophic
Cause war is a means to profit
Control and manipulate the massive, it’s classic evil
Caskets, be full of people, blasted

Chorus
They lie, they scam, they cheat and steal
They plot, they fund, they act it’s real
They watch, they hunt, they punish and kill
Welcome to the Aftermath
(repeat)

Ground Zero the launch pad for endless killing
That Bush desperately needed to fool the millions
Into supporting an agenda to conquer the planet
I wonder how the children felt when the first bombs landed
In Afghanistan. Operation enduring freedom
Was the first act of treason must I tell you the reason?
Start reading, and stop believing network news
They're concerned with making money not telling the truth
Deep in the night, I'm turning and tossing
Knowing cities are burning lost in the silence of the Empires coffin
Over one million Iraqis murdered
Human beings never to be seen again or heard of
Now who's next In the name of, America famous for heinous war acts
Vain insane leaders feed us lies and ignore facts
But fact is were smarter and stronger than what they hoped for
The war on terror deceptive like Regan's coke war

Chorus

20 years from now what will Americans will be like
Slaves well behaved or human beings with rights
If we fight we might still have a chance
Instead of hoping for change, we’ve got to advance
Take a stance and be heard, silence is the enemy
Words have power, but actions speak louder
Pretend to be free till you die a slave
A soldier in the desert searching for a ghost in a cave
For the Corporation, I’ve run out of patience
Sick of seeing’ troops sent to die for your lies
You’re Spending dollars on death, we holler in protest
Til' we have your arrest, we will not rest and we know
What you did that day, killed your own citizens to advance your ways
All my real patriots stand up and say 9/11 was an inside job

More:
http://www.loosechange911.com/
http://www.911truth.org/

Watch the documentary Loose Change 9/11: an american coup written and directed by Dylan Avery

Try to listen this song without crying

From a portuguese guitarrist who played the portuguese guitarr in fado songs, I must admit I can't stop getting emotional hearing this song.

You call this freedom?

This life has nothing to do with freedom, but with "buy freedom", and those who don't have money have no value in this sick society.
If you have no money you're invisible, you're worthless, you don't count!
It's so sad how some families (most of them) only stay united because of money needs, it's sad people only get near of you if you own money. It's nerve wrecking when you dream awake about all the places you want to go and someone shouts at you: "and how you get the money to do so?", you want to go somewhere "and you have money to do so?". 
The truth is that in this society for you to be free you have to have money meanwhile you'll get so busy trying to make a living that you forget to have a life.
SAD!

I need your help

To all my readers.
I am writting this to you to ask you for a simple favour, I dream about doing an interrail, so I entered on this contest, would you please just click like on my comment on facebook? The title is "to travel is to live".
If you don't mind helping me, here's the link:
https://www.facebook.com/wimdu?sk=app_244041225639079&app_data=512755
Because I am not very popular in facebook (I have few friends for option) and still I want things to continue this way but I really need to be one of the top 5 most voted comments.
So I really appreciate your help!
Thank you!

Virtual Friends

How modern "friendships" are nowadays: people quit having a real social life by hanging out and do stuff together, instead, they interact with "likes" and "shares" and through chats and social networks.
Do you want to know something about someone you don't see for a long time (like someone who studied in the same high school or college as you)? sneak into their facebook, that will keep you updated and so, we all can know about each other's lives without being together, without really seing each other all this time.
I decided to put this kind of lost "friendships"  to the test. You know, people who makes part of your past (even if it was a nice past like when you were a teenager and went to the same school), people who since life separated never really made an effort to see you again, never called you again, never sent you an e-mail again, and sometimes they just put "likes" in the facebook, people whose the only bond left between me and them was ...the facebook! So, I deleted them all from my virtual life...and puff they simply totally vanished from my real life....I wonder if they were ever real! But nevermind, now they are just somebody that I used to know.

I don't express my friendship by sending links, pressing share buttons or "like buttons".
The last straw was when I saw ex- colleagues of mine that I didn't see for a long time, and I just saw them in public transportation and we started talking,  and they started talking about my life, like my trips, the concerts I went, etc. I knew a little less of their liffe since they don't write almost anything on it.
So I decided to delete them....they never invite me out, maybe that's because they don't need to ask about my life they already know, also they don't feel the need of being in my company. So I don't want those people connected to me virtually if they're not in real life, and that's because they're not interested on it.
Also, a colleague of mine quit college and never said anyting to me face to face, never asked me out, I deleted and she sent the "friendship" request back....but she was not really interested in talking to me face to face, people are simply obcessed with facebook connections...really? I didn't accepted it, she gave up college 3 years ago and never really talked to me again, but all the sudden I deleted her and she remebered me? Others were just acquaintances that said Hi to me and sometimes didn't say anything really, I deleted them and they purely pretended they don't know me at all....
It's true, some persons are so important in your life that are only a quick click away from your life!

(P.S: I quit all my social netwoks)

Happy 4th July America!

Westerns! Aren't westerns so cool? Cowboy is the good guy, indian is the bad guy, do not forget!

Have fun, it's your day! It's you nation day, the biggest and the most important...u kidding? it's the only country important right? Have fun shooting guns, beware of the fireworks!

Maiden day

Day 29 May 2013, I went to my first Heavy Metal concert: Iron Maiden, here in Lisbon.
As usual, I went alone, did not tell anyone I was going, and did not see anyone I knew in there, I like doing crazy things alone even because if I just do it if the others join, I'll probably end doing nothing at all.
I told my parents I was going to have a birthday dinner with my friends, they were surprised, I'm not sociable at all (only in the blogue I guess)...well the truth is I never ever invitations to do nothing, I'm a misfit and misfits deal well in heavy metal concerts coursing life and death, no?
What can I say about the concert? awesome, surreal, worth every euro,lots of scenarios, skulls, special effects, pyrotechnics, well played music...perfect!
The crowd...well Maiden's concert's are not a place do date, nor to stupid girls and their stupid boyfriends go, stand still and demand everyone around to stand still "there's a girl in here!", "hey stop feeling the music, here's my wife and my son and daughter"...well girls and women if you can't handle don't go watch an heavy metal concert, grown up men...don't take your wife and remaning family in there...is it supposed to stand still and quiet in an heavy metal concert? is it suppose to kiss every single 5 minutes in middle of satanic songs???! Please stick to listen music at home then, or go to Michael Bubble, Julio Iglesias or Leonard Cohen concerts instead, stick to your romances and sopa operas then....to all regular girls: Maiden is not for pussies!deal with it!
I survived my first heavy metal concert! :)

......

I not even can chose a title for this post...well it's about that brutal atttack committed in London, I read in newspapers: "decapitaion in the middle of a London street", I was terrified!
It turns out it was not a completed beheading I guess, I don't want to know the details really, but it was an horrendous act!
The two guys who did this, and even wanted to be filmed and talked to cameras, said they were muslims and they did this to that young man who was killed because he was a soldier and bristish soldiers invade their lands and kill muslims so it was a revenge "tooth for tooth, eye for eye", something like that.
Also he says, our land...Afghanistan? well, to me, he looks like an african immigrant with english nationality or british, son of immigrants, clearly not what we can call an original english. The victim, was just a young man about my age, a true english person, british by  right who was killed and brutally murdered on his own land by those savages who immigrated to Great Britain or whose parents immigrated to GB...
It's an isolated case, TOTALLY ISOLATED! I can see that, I'm not going to do any generalizations, I don't think muslims are evil (well to be honest, I just think all religions are evil), but I'll tell you what, I do not believe in multiculturalism...no no, I believe we all can live in peace, but I doubt that we can do it living all together in the same place.
London, for instance, with 12 million inhabitants from everywhere, has becoming more and more violent and dangerous! British (like true british) people are a minority in London it's been said.
Well when I went there 10 years ago, I kind of noticed that really! Where were the english english? it was like the whole world just had moved to London...for me, it was starnge although I live in a multicultural and peaceful city (Lisbon, which I love).
I just think for british british, it might feel strange for them to feel foreigners in their own land, and that's not all, being afraid of the other's who don't trully belong there! To fear the foreigners in your land? What an absurd!
So although, I am left winged, believe in world peace (and by the way I'm an atheist), what I wanted to say with this post, like it or not, is that, now I see why GB wants to stop immigration...and you know what? I think it's totally legitimate!
I think immigration should be stopped indeed or at least controlled.
I think in all Europe, we should control this issue, because we are in a big crisis and with high unemployment rates, so more people coming in to find a job, and not founding it, may led to violence and robberies.
I think immigration should be more permissive between european citizens (after all we share the same spirit of citzenship), but radically more limited to non-european citizens.
We can't blame all immigrants, immigrants are needed and welcome if they work, pay taxes and behave, and in Europe everyone is accepted no matter what is their belief or ways (all they need is to respect the others and live in peace with the others), but if they don't want to live under european ways and do not respect the people who welcomed them...well they are not needed, they are not desirable, they should GO!
So anotehr thing I agree is that foreign criminals should not be accpeted back in the foreign country they commited the crime, they should be sent home.
Also, I agree with the fact Norway refuses to build mosques, it's their right to refuse, it's Norway, not the Middle East, a mosque is something that doesn't match with anything here in Europe.
I understand that point!
All this situation is so regrettable and too bad for being true, I really don't know what to say anymore, but if a country has problems with immigration I think it's the right of the country to control immigration, it's not the person's from the welcoming country that have to bow down foreigner's ways, it's the extreme opposite!