I wonder...

I know you don't, but the truth is that in my shrunk spirit I still love you in silence after all this time. Not who you are now, I don't know that person, not even the person you were back then, but the person I thought you were or could have been. And even my subconsciois brings you to haunt my dreams from time to time. Every now and then I cry listening to the same songs I used to cry over when I thought of you. And I keep looking for you in everyone else...and sometimes I find it, they all give me the same old strange but also familiar and agonizing feeling of unrequited love time and time and time again so I can keep self-sabotaging myself into believing I am not worth it. Sometimes they even made me think for a bit that I moved on...but they were just deceiving ways to find my sad way back to you. But deep down I love all that pain, grief and drama, it's like an old friend you just can't get rid off...it's a reminder of when you were around.