Everyday I love you less and less and that is a bless

I have shut off myself in my shelf on loneliness all my life afraid of loving people, in all aspects of love, from romantic love to friendship to family love. I tried to be distant and cold all my life, I always knew when you love something or someone you become weak, it is unbearable painful to know you will never be strong with someone that is your weak point, detachment is the root of all suffering so also love. Every once in a while I open up my heart and feel good for a little while, but then that persons disappoint you or leave you and the sorrow that comes after is for me way too much.
For me the worst part of it is  having good memories with someone that made you feel special and then leaves you with no goodbye or explanation. Then you are told to "let it go", "best thing you never had", "forget it" and you go on step by step breaking your face in an endless sequence of mistakes that  bitter your heart and make you souless.
I even feel disheartned to meet people, trying to captivate them and letting being captivated by them if all that you will ever live will once be a good moment in the present and a bitter memory in your mind that your inner voices and friends say to "forget, forget", if all the cure and point of life is moving on and forget the past seriously I see no point in living because all the good thing I lived are now good moments that will never come back and that is what hurts the most, everyone tells you to forget, your inner voices tell you to forget, everyone else seems to have forgotten but all I think is that ok I will forget this and live new things to make new memories that will hurt me again in the future and I should forget again....if it is all about forgetfulness why even bother to live new things? Past leaves you depressed, future anxious and all you have is this present missing all good from the past and anxious to the good things of the future that will become past too. I see no point in this.
I feel ridiculous....I guess I gave it all to someone that cannot love me back...again.

the inSIGNIFICANCE of Life

First thing about life I believe is you don't need a plan and you don't need a dream.
Fine, if you have something you've always wanted to do, dreamed of, like in your heart...well go for it! After all, it's something to do in life: killing time while time is killing you, so spend time chasing you dream. But be careful, if it's an enough big dream it will take most time of your life to achieve so by the time you get it you'll be almost dead so it won't matter really.
I consider myself a realistic but in philosophical terms I am what is considered a pessimistic.
I think human conscience was a tragic misstep of evolution...the problema is that we become too self aware and that's something that can make us experience life in all its fullness but it will also depresses you, make you feel lonely, lost, insignificante and ultimately depressed about living.
Nature created an aspect out of itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are creatures who act in the ilusion of having a self, an accession of sensorial experience and feelings programmed to think that we are each one somebody, when in fact, everybody is nobody.
Sometimes I think like Rustin Cohle from the tv serie "True Detective" who said most of the things I said above but also adds that "the most honrable thing to our specie is to deny our programming and stop reproducing. Walking hand in hand until our extinction".
I know this last statement is way too extreme and nobody will do it, humans will continue to reproduce and reproduce until our fatal extinction because Sun will die and dry Earth out (I read that Earth might even be swallowed when the sun explode in millions of years ahead)or faster due to a random cataclysm like a random asteroid floating randomnly in the outer space and hitting the Earth and wiping us like wiped out the dinossaurs millions of years ago or due to a climate change provoked by our destructive practices in the environment or just due to natural changes that happen throughout the Eras and caused massive extinctions in the past. It's funny how Earth has this immensely ability to created so many different forms of life out of thin air just because the atmosphere turn out to have the magical formula to gather two athoms of hydrogen and one athom of oxygen and create water, that is the source of life itself. Then more athoms gathered and created lots of cool beings like dinossaurs, birds, monkeys, people....the way to pass this information throughout time is by the invention of sex, the cause of life, this sexually transmitted disease we all suffer from, so vaginas and pénis were some sort of invented and inside those organs crazy biological stuff happens with the so call gametes being created completely out of your mind control hoping to get fertilized and procceed to the creation of another being obbeying natural biological laws.
So it is funny how in the same place there are so many forms of life and how life puts so much endeavour building complex beings that will ultimately be destroyed.
When we all appreciate life and are thankful for being alive we should not Forget that we are a product of millons of millions of years of fucks that end up in births and sucessive reproduction throughout all this time, lots of people were responsible for us to be here when giving in to the lust that was activated in their brain by hormonal segregation....and we own our life not only to people, but the primates from caves and the primates before, and the mammals before and what else? the fishes before too. I can say we are all potential sexual biological information travelling in time and space.
The odds of you being alive are almost residual...picture this, we own our life due to single sperm that won a "race" against other 249 999 999 sperms that exist in a single ejaculation....considering not only this frankly low probability of 1 in 250 millions you have to count of how many sperms "beated" the contraceptives, and considering the amount of times our fathers had sex or jerked off...frankly it is a very lucky luck (if you continue to feel lucky anyways) to be here. To me it just doesn't make me feel special but in fact ordinary, random....my mum can keep saying that she is very happy about giving birth to me but I know that she could have created more 249 million different persons in her utero! Stop thinking you are special, biologically speaking you're not.
Besides the fertilization (intentionally or by "accident"), you have to hope your mum doesn't want to abort you and/or a miscarriage don't happen, then you are born out your mum's guts to the outer world and you have to hope she or someone takes care of you because we all are born helpless and fragile. This is talking about just about a generation....now think about all the countless generations before you....the same thing had to happen and all those people had to be alive until at least their reproductive age....imagine if one of your relatives, let's say from the Middle Age, died before he or she had sex...you can be sure you and tons of people before you would never be here.
This also applies to animals from which we evolved....so you have a big picture of it...for animals there is not such a thing as contraceptives they are just programmed (by who? does that need to be a Who?) to have sex and reproduce and take care of their babies (if they are born healthy, if not they are probabley abandoned....natural selection is a cold hearted bitch!).
So no wonder everyone expects you to have sex and reproduce on purpose or by "accident", it's like all living things are programmed to do that....if you, like me, dare to say you don't want to follow that path you can count on with a large dosis of social ostracism...it is like you are against the existence of your own specie because you don't want to populate the world with your genes, it is like you are supposed to return a favour because someones did those for you.
Think about all those people who you inherit your genes from....thousands and thousands of them...you own them your height, your face, your possible genetic diseases...think of them now again, how much of them did you know, where are them now? let me answer you: dead and forgotten.
But you are lucky to be born anyways, you are lucky to be made of the sort of DNA that went on to make the sort a brain you keep your thoughts and memories and experiences and that's because of that mysterious jelly that you can feel the outer world and experience the world in all that it has of good and bad and awesome and terrible. Things don't really exist in the real world, they are interpretated they depend of your subjective interpretation and all of that is processed in your brain.
Either ways life is meaningless...and this is not a flippant assertion. I think it's absurd the idea of seeking meaning  in the set of circumstances that happens to exist after 13,8 billion years worth of unguided events. Leave it to humans to think the Universe has a purpose for them.
Life will sometimes seem long and tough and tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad and then you'll be old and then you'll be dead. Meanwhile, you will feel the need of reproducing to fulfill your programming and that is why so many women get depressed, frustrated and feel worthlesss when they can't create a child inside them. Also you will feel lonely and that is why you want to have someone around, because sex partners might leave anytime but not a child, you can be sure, until they need you they will stick around, you will have someone to look after and that will make you feel important and special, also biologically speaking, fullfiled, you will love that person more than anything in the world and hope to be loved back...but if you are not you won't feel rejected or despised like in a romantic relationship, because a love for a son or daughter is a true love, you give everything hoping nothing in return, you kind of give up your plans and dreams for that person. Then you will hope they remind themselves of how much importance and love you gave to them and hope not to be forgotten, but they probably will be busy forming and living with their own family. And then your plans of not dying alone may be shattered anyways. People also have an anxious to reproduce because they want to be remembered by others when they die, is like reaching some kind of level of immortality, they want a to leave a proof they existed.

But I keep thinking about the humorous  it must take to yank a soul from non existence into this: MEAT. To force a life into this wilderness.
We all have seen the finale of thousands lives throughout our existence, new or old, each one were so sure about thei realness, that their sensorial experience cast an unique individual with a purpose, a meaning, so certain that they were more than a biological puppet. Truth wills out and in the end everybody sees that when the strings are cut out they all fall down.

I keep bothering my mind with the nonsensical existence of the Universe or maybe is my mind bothering me about this, I am afraid because thoughts flow imaterially in there and they make me laugh and cry and make me have lots of random emotions and feelings...I try to own my mind and control my thoughts but is impossible is like it has free will...it is no wonder that the happiest guy in the world is a monk who meditates half of the day and the other is asleep...so apparently, as I was afraid, the secret for happiness is think the less you can, ignorant and dumb people are the happiest....ignorance is bliss, they say and they are probably right.
This thoughts about awareness of being alive but also being aware you have no knowledge to respond why and how is totally depressive.
But who doesn't think that is a bizarre event a stupid random explosion happening out of nowhere creating random stars and planets and time and space itself?

Earth is a beautiful place flourishing with life, is like na oasis in the cold empty space (although I believe there are many Earths in the Universe that had, have or will have some sort of life)...but the magic ends quickly when you see that even in the deep of forests and oceans animals live a daily slaughter between them, a bloody violent struggle for the survival of those diferente species that get energy by eating and killing others....by some sort of reason (if there is any) there are animals that don't eatothers, like gazelles, elephants, deers, horses and other herbivores and others that get energy by eating other animals, the carnivores, like lions, cheetahs, bears, crocodiles and so on....this looks really unfair, sad, revolting and bloodthirsty to me but keeps a balance between the number of species in a environment....but there is no such a thing as peace in the animal world, it is, it was and it will always be a daily slaughter.
About the biggest predators on Earth now, the humans, we can see how beautiful cities and buildings we built but looking closely we can see that we all have a lifestyle that destroys the environment and kills other species, also the daily kill is a constant, the violance is outraged and echos of pain from childs living in cities being bombed are completely indiferente to the Universe....our prayers and sorrows echo in the void of the Universe....some of those persons kill in order to please an imaginary friend called God, the creator of Universe and that has a plan for them....that imaginary entity never bothered to show up and say of its justice so all is permitted to justify the willing of kill.
Look at our lives, dying planet, we are the viroses of the ecossystem we crave and crave and get and get without giving the Earth any substancial advantage of our existence, we consume Earth, we kill Earth, we kill each other...so to me Earth is nothing but a giant gutter floating in the outer space, sometimes I think it was better it was empty and barren as the others....as Venus, Mars or even Júpiter...those planets have no problems and suffer for no pain and sorrow.
Well but sometimes the dreams come true, like our dream of drifting in a rock in the floating space experiencing an existence devoid of any real significance or purpose.

Love sick

I am having one of the worsts feelings ever, I am afraid I committed the capital crime of falling in love again, for someone that once again, ignores me at the same time that invades my thoughts and change my feelings into a level of sickness and sadness few people could throughout my life. I never really fall trully in love, because I never was loved back by the same person, I never trusted a person that much and deceived myself to a point I could believe something could be real, reciprocal and last, I won't say forever of course, but for a period of time. This is just like a little sample of what it must feel to be in love, either ways, it kills me because I get anxious, depressed and insomniac, I also cry rivers of tears and those butterflies in my stomach make me want to throw up, I feel tired just to wake up and feel not like getting away from my slumber because I know when I wake up I will think about you, but even when I sleep you creep into my thoughts, you are the first thing I think when I wake up and last when I go to sleep, you become a central part of my mind's landscape and your face is haunting me every night, I feel no good when I think about you, but you seem to be an addictive pill but instead of making me better you keep making me ill.

I took my part, you played your game...and gave love a bad name.
Your game is discretly letting me know it's over by ignoring me, until I do it to you and you keep ignoring and I finally getting it, you are so smart!!!
I should have known better when you came around that would make me cry, but that's ok because what goes around comes back around, in time you'll see.
I hate this feeling, I think most of it has to do with the rejection from someone you cared and spend some good moments with and that at some point just got enough of you, was bothered with your presence and wanted new persons like a collector of people trying to fullfill the boredom of its own existence.

Rejection hurts but what is even worst is that the person you once liked to be with will become a stranger again, you have to put all those memories in the section of past in your brain and let it be quiet and tidy, since you can't forget....how stupid this will of wanting to forget moments you liked, right? Either ways we all have been there....
It also hurts too much when someone makes you feel special and then suddenly leaves you hangign and you have to pretend you are strong and don't care at alll.
I used to make fun of people that let themselves drown in sorrow because of love, but now I kind of get it....I thought love would make my life sweeter but it just made my life even more bitter.
So as the daily converstations died, and I stopped seeing your face I understood your message because getting no message is also a message....I know as days go by the pain will pass, tears will dry on their own, and I will forget your face and voice and you will just be a vague memory imprinted in my brain.
Hearts are made to be broken...by love and hellos only end in goodyes.

"I wasting my time trying to fall in love, disappointment came to me and booted me and bruised and hurt me, I was wasting my life praying for love, for the love that never comes from someone who does not exist but that's ok because that's how people grow up"

If this is living...

The reason I am writing this post is because I think I should pay tribute to someone very special that just passed away in the last rainy Sunday.

I hope my writting may relieve me from all this effervescent feelings of pain, sadness and mostly revolt and incomprehension.

A cousin of mine, with 19 years old died of cancer, his name was Rafael and he was one of the most pure, kind and inocent persons that ever lived in this unfair world.

We were not close but to know he died so young and he suffered so much makes me cry rivers of tears. I am not used to go to funerals, and my last one was of my grandfather that died old, with 78 years old, so going to a funeral of a 19th year old kid is someting extremelly sad and unreasonable.

I am skeptical about everything: life after, death, gods, God, souls, ghosts...but if there was something I used to believe it was in karma: you get from life what you deserve, you get what you give...but not in the case of this little boy, he didn't deserve anything of he went through.

Which can only make me believe that the world is far from fair...the only thing that keeps me connected to life is sadness and pain, the rest is just of mist of numbness and incomprehension...and I am no one to talk about pain compared to that litle boy!

Some people say that we have to learn with him is that life is short, so let's make the most of it while we are healthy and alive, we should have fun and seek happiness...but I don't learnt that from this kid's life and death...my opinion about life won't change: it is an absurd, a painful one, makes no sense to begin, makes no sense to end, you don't ask to be born, you don't ask to die, all is forgotten, it is like it never hapened, all that you were ends, all of your memories gone... and that is something you realize when you go to a 19th year old boy funeral and see people cheat chatting....positive sayings never seemed so vain and sick to me "life goes on", well your goes, his doesn't. So it doesn't really matter! I just don't see their point.

Because I am a bit depressive people tend to say that maybe I should be gone instead of all those people that die and want to live, but they miss the whole point of my feelings, it's not that I want to die, it's just that I really wish I was never born, because being conscious gives me sadness, and I am terrified about living and dying, and getting old, and stop existing, and saying goodbye to my loved ones when they will die and the fact that I know everything will go on without me...I don't know, life makes me feel unconfortable because I see no point in all this shit, and I don't have any plans of making anything great or big because I am afraid I'll put too much effort in something and waste time when I can die anytime anywhere for no reason: no one controls their bodies, their fate, other's fate, neither our minds! We are slaves of our minds, and don't bullshit me with meditation, it takes hours to empty your head and then feel happy...you're happy and in peace because there is nothing inside your brain...and that is why dumb and ignorant people are the happiest...well I don't want to be like that, in fact I  find happy people more shallow, incapable of deep conversations, thoughts and even feelings. But as Hemingway used to say "happiness in happy people are the rarest thing I know". I don't want to be an ignorant person, not so happy people write the best songs and books, what do happy people do and write? NOTHING! Even because they are so ignorant and uninterested that they don't even read. They build that little castle of fantasie and surround themselves with pretty lies and call me a toxic person for shaking up their lies up: "talking to you is depressive go away!", it happens when my happy side wears off and I don't make them laugh anymore...sorry for not being your LSD all the time! Go find some other jerk to produce serotinine in your brain!

Let's just face it: unhappiness makes part of life, and there is no need to take pills of anti-depressives everytime reality punches you in the face, or watch stupid comedies or hear stupid music, nice to hear but say anything about anything. Besides if you never feel sorrow how are you supposed to feel joy? You cannot feel one thing without the other!


Most part of the time I even feel guilty and shame of being happy, specially when I am not doing anything to help people who can't feel a 0.1% of the happiness I have and I don't feel like a  selfish bastard grateful for it, most part of the time I feel like feeling this good is criminal. And other thing, I learnt, specially from this boy that it doesn't matter how much you love life and fight for it, because that bitch may not love you back and just leave you.
So if all you learnt from this was: life is short, let's make the most of it an have fun, I don't blame you but I just think it is way to shallow and meaningless...notice how people use other's misfortune to feel good about themselves...oh this happened to that person I have to be grateful for not being like them! Self impsoing to be happy just because someone is less happy makes no sense to me I can't see the point of it, it is just like you can't be happy because there is someone happier than you!
Other thing is the endless and selfish search for the utopia of complete and absolute happiness: it doesn't exist! Stop searching for that! You can only feel happy if you taste sorrow, and all passes and takes turns...but it is so crazy how people have that idea of the selfish pursuit of happiness: I want to be happy, I, I, I, I, I, me, me, me, me...you say you have to be happy all the time because life is short and soon you will be dead, I say it doesn't really matter if you are happy or unhappy 'cause both will disappear forever and it will be like it was nothing. I like feeling ok, but I don't force myself into it, I think not feeling ok in such a mad world is actually very natural, and this imposed dictatorship of happiness makes me sick. I think leaving something or someone you didn't like and therefore were attached to are easier than when you attach and love something or someone that much...so maybe not liking life makes easier to lose it...I don't know.
Back to my cousin, if life was fair, he would have a different life and right now he would be ok at home.
I saw him on this last day of life, doped in morphine, taking deep breathes, there he was beatrayed by his own biology, betrayed by his own body wanting to live and be ok and not being able, only he must know the anguish and torment it was...wanting to live desperately while his body was dying! 
I see you at night in my mind, that picture of you is the closest to an angel if angels are real, you were a pure heart, smiling boy, always happy I wish you had a better life and still alive.
 I can't believe you don't exist anymore, I can't believe this happened to you...your place is not in a dark, silent, lifeless graveyard sealed in a coffin surrounded by corpses of strangers...your place should be sleeping at your home, in your warm bed, watching cartoons with your cat, sister and mum...I can't believe you're gone! 

I am so affected by your cruel and early death that I dreamt about you last night, you know after we left the graveyard I had the strange feeling someone was missing there, so in my dreams while we were saying goodbye to each other, I saw someone opening the tombstone and getting out, running to us with a smile and saying: "Why did you leave me here? I wanna go home, don't leave me here all alone!". 

"I'll see you in my dreams, I'll see you in the sky, I'll meet you anytime, night or day, we'll meet under the stars,we'll walk unfraid, I'll hold you in my arms, I'll listen to your words, lie under your heart, I'll see you in my dreams, in my dreams, I'll wait, all awake."

There is another world, there is a better world, well it must be...


So long Rafa!

Morrissey concert

This MondayI had the absolute privilege and joy to see a living legend of music singing. That's right, I attended Morrissey's concert at Lisbon, thi 6th October, and I can perfectly say: now my heart is full (although he did not sing this song...well he has so many and they are all great it's crazy!).
You know, we now live in a world, where everything is artificial and politically correct, you cannot say what you think and feel completely, you have to find subtle ways to criticize, well...you better avoid criticism! And the songs all day in radio and TV are rubbish...that songs are meant to keep you entertained, no message, no polemics, no troubles, 'cause people don't want to think! And the only way that nowaday's super stars have to shosck is overexposing the topic: "sex" (how can anybody feel shocked anymore? like Marina and the Diamonds says in her song "sex", we have seen everything and nothing is provokative anymore...not even for kids. We all know about gametas, and other body fluids, the hormones your body produce that keep your brain happy, the endorphines that are released in your body stream...and when it's not in a scientific perception you can see it, softcore in movies and sop operas....and well you can also surf on the internet where an entire Universe of gigabytes of porn are filling tons and tons and tons of optical fibre and terabytes of memories...just so lonelly wankers can jerk off epelling about 250 million sperms which apparently makes men happy...neverthless porn is a tabu, it shoudn't!). Anyways celebrities find in sex a way to have publicity, so girls take her clothes off and get naked, and it's shamelless 'cause we all know that's how they get famous and boys appear in their video clipes boasting about screwing harems of girls...as if it was a good thing to be a whore, right? Moreover, every rockband or rock snger has the motto: sex, drugs and violence. Basically, rebels with no cause. And then, there is this guy, Moriissey, the antithesis of rock, he doesn't boast about sex, he doesn't care if people doubt about wether he is gay or bi or asexual, he doesn't do drugs, he doesn't drink, he doesn't party and surelly he is not violent, he has a really kind heart, and you can see that by the way hhe treats animals and care about them. Only good-hearted persons can feel that deep, and a man who mistreats animals is not kind.
Ok, sometimes people say he's rude and difficult to deal with, may be, but all misanthrtropists are and that's because they can't stand the human hypocrisy, their falsehood and wickedness. Also he doesn't change to please other people, he's genuine, straightforward and that's something rare in such and hypocritical world!
So he's cool being the extremelly opposite of other rock singers, also he really does have things to say, and even if the songs are a bit sad, he has a soundtrack that makes it kind of an happy sad. It's been like that since the Smiths.
Most part of my acquaintances do not know Smiths or Morrissey, well he is not mainstream. Mainstream hates him and he hates mainstream, and I love him for that too.
Morrissey songs have true meaning, and he sings with all his soul, and all his heart.
And I must admit, I think I am like him. Actually some friends of mine have said: "you are soooooooo Morrissey", and it really sounds like a compliment: the pro-animals cause, the early vegetarianism, the rudeness needed to make people understand you want to be alone than with bunch of idiots, the polemic ideas, the straightforwardness, the ultra sensitivity against the horrors in this world, the sarcasm, the braveness and courage to speak out loud your ideas with no fear of being excluded, criticized, unloved just for being different, the misanthropism, finding solace in loneliness...
About this specific concert, well regardless of him saying several times "gracias" instead of "obrigado" (big ofense here we are not spannish! if we were this would be Spain, and well it isn't...it's just close to ok?) it was terrific. His voice is so human and I just couldn't believe I was seeing him.
He sang 4 songs of the mythic band "The Smiths": "The Queen is Dead", "Hand in Glove", "Meat is Murder" and "Hand in glove". And I cried when in the background of the stage there were pictures of animals being tortured and killed in slaughter houses...I don't eat meat too, for more than 10 years, and I just can't see animals being mistreated...it was awful and painful to see, but hope people change and think twice before continuing supporting the meat industry by eating animal corpses that they insist calling food. Morrissey told us to buy a spray and write on McDonalds publicity placards "shit shit shit no no no".
I cried also in the Asleep song no shame on that, good music gives me shivers!
Besides criticizing the british royal famly (in the song "Bring the bride down the aisle", there was a placard with Kate and William picture and a legend saying "United Kingdumb"...just not to mention "The Queen is dead", with the queen showing the middle finger), Morrissey sang more songs with meaning, deep message and fantastic melodies, actually in "I'm not a man", he trully states his misanthropic view of things..."I'm not a man I'd never kill or eat an animal and I never would destroy this planet I'm on", in "Worldpeace is none of your business" he criticizes the way our society is, like we're paying taxes to make war in other countries and we are suppose to never ask questions, simply work, pay taxes, never ask why, vote and support the process, overwhelming lyrics and melody, must teall ya.
In the song "bullfigheter dies (and nobody cries)" there's also images of bullfighting.
I loved the concert, I love Morrissey, I love Smiths....I really find comfort by knowing that there is someone out there that is as a human wreck as I am: maladjusted, clever, human (in the real term), that has no fear of being hated by just being true, being real, someone with a cause, a message, someone who really cares about giving animals a voice...people like him, really make me still have hope in humans....some of us are good, even if they are always rejected by this sick society. I can say he's like a role model to me, a hero maybe, I feel like he may be some of the few persons who could possibly understand me because we are much alike, so I'm glad he exists and I saw him.
Also heard some news he's ill, I really hope he gets better, because the world needs people like him. It's always a surprise and very recomforting to see a person with compassion, personality and soul.
Thank you Morrissey! :)

speechless

HUMANITY is conflicted over whether it is worth decimating the planet to maintain the supply of desirable consumer goods.

50 per cent of species have disappeared in the last 40 years, prompting debate over whether animals are better than phones and burgers.

If we continue this way, 40 years more and it's all wiped out! 

I feel so fucking sad and hopeless! We are a plague to this planet!

More readings:

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/sep/29/earth-lost-50-wildlife-in-40-years-wwf#

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/humans-undecided-on-total-destruction-of-nature-versus-having-cool-stuff-2014093091200

So am I a loser?

it's funny, nobody at a certain age likes living with parents, and their parents, even not really saying it, are looking forward to get rid of them at some point. True! But why are you considered a loser or a scrub to live with your parents and a winner when you stop living with parents and live with some random guy or girl,paying a mortgage for the next 40 years, sharing a life and paying the same bills, or getting married and then become a parent continuing the endless cycle of domestic discussions and mutual agressions? people are strange. What puzzles me the most is the fact if you live at your parent's expense after the 18 years old (which is not always nice, you know, you hear a lot a stuff from your parents, and they will always try to control you and submit you to their will because it's their money and their roof so you follow their goddam rules) but living at your parents expense makes you a loser for the society, but having someone who will live at your expense (aka kids) make you a winner?
Sorry but I'd rather be a loser and then be alone forever.Losers are free ;)

IsraHell

Well I think we all have to agree, what's going on in Israel is a genocide against non-jews, it's something criminal against human beings, dare to say, it's a crime against humanity and if things continue this way, Palestine will totally disappear sooner. It's sad because I think a folk who were so mistreated and almost extremitated throughout the years and years of History should behave differently than the way they were tretaed. But again, religion stands in the way and both sides believe they were the chosen ones by God, so they kill and kill themselves like it ever happened since the very fisrt beginning. This video from Nina Paley depicts it very well:

http://mic.com/articles/94386/12-brilliant-cartoons-that-will-help-you-understand-the-history-of-israel-and-palestine?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social


Israel is a HELL!!

Do we deserve this planet?

Of all the species on the planet, there's only one who can't live in tune with the environment patterns and breaks all the harmony in nature...guess who is it? are we worth living after all?

Mum's day

No one would accept to have a job 24/7, with no breaks, no rest on holidays, no vacations, and if you had a life just sort of give up that life in order to perform this very demanding job, year after year with no salary right? That's what I think, thanks mum but I'll never be like you, I've better stuff to do than give up my life and dreams in order to the continuation of the human specie (which is doomed by the way). Others will do and call it love, I have a life ahead of me.

http://celta-universe.blogspot.pt/2013/05/happy-mums-day.html

Detachment

And it really sucks when people don't understand that and don't simply fuck off and leave you alone! -.-
Because detachment is not that you should own nothing or no one, but that nothing and no one should own you!

Happy international Happiness day

Happy sperm day

9 months after that won't be than funny!

Well...I have a sarcastic dark side humour that's for sure, I have a tendency of breaking every tabus and joke about the awkwardness of life...and since I've written a post mocking the mother's day, here came the time to joke with the father's day.
We were all a sperm right? I mean, that was what actually made us, what we are what we look like partially its owned to a random fastest sperm...(the other ones with lots lots of genetic information got lost and died...if the other sperm were faster than you, you wouldn't be here reading this and your mum would be equally happy for having that other baby don't you doubt about that) I must admit that I fell nauseous abot this ever since I discovered the story of the storks were bullshit! So yeh right we kind of were in our father's balls and then on our mum's vagina in which we "lived" 9 long months...how cute!

I know I say a lot of crazy stuff that shock people, and I'll keep on saying without caring if people like to read it or not (if u don't want to read my stuff you know what to do, don't read this). So here's another one: on this father's day be conscious that every action has its consequences and even a little thing as a spermatozoid causes serious consequences...we are all the living proof of that aren't we? so don't be like your dad and use a condom 'cause fucking can literally fuck your whole life!

think about this while you jerk off, you jerk

Happy women's day

First of all, I just want to say that I always thought that having an International Women day was stupid, and never accepted other people's congratulations on this day...like...thanks for being born a woman? thanks to the two X chromosomes? Why women need a day? There's no men's day!
Ok...now more serious! I never really felt ok about being congratulated for this day 'cause it's like...ok you're a woman, women need a day.To be honest with you all it always seemed to me that guys were trying to make me feel weak (but maybe it's because I am very suspicious about men who knows!).
But there is a story behind this day: in the 8th March of 1857 women workers of a tissue factory in New Yor k city made a huge strike. They occupied the factory and started demanding for better work conditions like the reduction from 16hours of work (!!!) to 10 hours of work per day!, same wages as men (women gained about 1/3 of men's wages for the same work!) and demanded being respected and treated with dignity in the work place.
The manifestattion was repressed so violently that those women were locked in the factory which was set on fire (on purpose). About 130 women died carbonized in a tremenduous act perpetuated by guess who? Men! (for a change right!?)
Women are wonderful beings, no doubt about it, after all they are the ones with the ability to create life by giving birth, if it was not for the women the world would be over and we could not be here because we had no mums, and grandmums who also wouldn't have mums and so on and so forth until the very beginning of humanity and it's not just the painful process and giving birth they bore...if it wasn't for all their love they wouldn't take care of us and we are born defenseless creatures that if not well treated just die a little while after being born...so there would be no generations of humans, keep that in mind, you exist because of thousands and thousands of women that gave birth throughout the history and took care of their childs...some even might have died during the child-birth.
Amongst the humans I won't be wrong by saying that they, the women, have a bigger ability to love than men.
You see every person (including men who mistreat women) should keep in mind that once lived inside one, we owe them our lives, our bodies, our simple existence, they should be respected for the major role they have in societies throughout history, they are way above men's ability to anything don't doubt about that, so they should have the same rights and men who abuse and/or beat them should be severely punished.
That's why I get so outraged and mad about all those disgusting guys mistreating women, that's why I got so mad everytime a woman is a victim of rape, domestic violence, sexual harrassmet or victim of the prostitution ring! That's why I get so mad when I know baby girls are killed when they're born because some societies prefer boys!
That's why I get so mad when good-looking guys just because they mum made them beautiful think they can mock the girls who they don't find so goo-looking and destroy their self esteem!
What I really want to say is, forget about your dad and your male's ancestory, I mean yeh they had a role too in the life process, but guys don't think with the right head, most likely they just wanted to get laid and never really cared about taking care of the child or the woman after that! In fact, if you go back in History, there were committed lots of rapes during the lootings...most likely we are descendents from an awful event like that took place (hopefully!) hundreds of years ago! But still, that women had those babies and took care of them until they grow up!
All I really want to say to all those misogynists guys that mistreat, objectify and disrespect women is that if it was not for the women they would never have lived (maybe it was better if they don't!)and yes, you were inside one when you were just an innocent and harmless being...so keep that in mind, without women and their love you would be nothing!
So here's my special thanks to all the feminist women that fought for women's rights in the past (and for those who still fighting), thanks to all those women the women from today could escape their miserable life of boredom, humiliation and submission to men , thanks to them, women from today can control their lives and their bodies and have financial and emotional independence!
 All those women were very brave and suffered for fighting against a sexist and  misogynistic society demanding the right to work and vote, the right to control their bodies and their lives. For centuries all this freedom for women was unthinkable! But there is a long way to go specially in countries where religion rules (why religion hates women?!) where women are treated as objects that belong to men, countries where little girls get married to grown up men, countries where women still can't study, work, vote or even have freedom of speech!
So to all the lucky girls of nowadays please don't let it all go to waste objectifying yourselves merely as sexual objects, your silly duckfaces and frivolous conversations and aims in life! Don't get in a super controlled and jealous relationship, don't let a man own you or control you and take away your self esteem, don't let a guy disrespect or mistreat you!
You can do better, you're all so much better than that!
Girls you run the world!

Consume until you're consumed

http://myscienceacademy.org/2013/08/19/without-saying-a-word-this-6-minute-short-film-will-make-you-speechless/